Building your Singles Ministry/Single Parenting by Other Authors
Overcoming Five Common Objections to Single Parent Ministry
by Dawn VanderWerf, Director, Single Parent Ministries
Single-parent ministry is beginning to gain traction in American churches, but it’s still a relatively new idea that is often misunderstood, underprioritized, and sometimes even criticized for lacking a clear vision.
When approaching the leadership of any church with a vision and plan to begin ministering to single-parent families, education is critical. One component of this education is to proactively address some of the most common spoken and unspoken objections. I include unspoken because these are often objections people harbor but don’t want to say out loud. However, if you say them - bring them out in the open and address them - it can clear up misconceptions and create a smoother path forward, with more buy-in and support for the ministry.
Let’s look at five objections our team has heard from church leaders when considering Single Parent Ministry, along with suggestions for respectfully addressing them.
1. “We don’t need a single-parent ministry because we don’t have single parents in our church.”
Suggested response: In this case, one of two things is probably happening. Either there really aren’t any single parents in our church, which is a problem because it means we’re completely missing and not ministering to almost half the families in our community, or there are single parents in our church who are slipping in and out under the radar, aren’t being captured in our systems or programming, and don’t have a voice at the table, so no one really knows they’re there. Which do you think is the case at our church?
2. “Aren’t single parents going to be a financial burden on our church?”
Suggested response: God’s ways are not our ways. It doesn’t make sense that when I tithe and give God 10 percent of my income, I’ll come out ahead - with more than if I had kept and spent all of it - yet He promises to bless my obedience. In the same way, when we, as a church, obey God’s command to take care of the widow and the fatherless, He will pour out His blessing on our church. Instead of draining our finances, it will likely cause an explosion of generosity in our church. God’s people love to give to meaningful work, and this is some of the most meaningful work we can do as a church.
3. “Aren’t we promoting divorce or sex outside of marriage by advertising a Single Parent Ministry?”
Suggested response: A similar question might be, “Are we promoting alcoholism by holding AA meetings in our church?” Ministering to people does not encourage them to sin more; rather, the opposite is true. Walking alongside single parents and showing them how to follow Jesus will change the trajectory of their lives and their children’s lives. The goal of a single-parent ministry is not to promote feminism or parenting alone, but to demonstrate God’s love and mercy; to help divorced and single parents find healing and wholeness, and ultimately a thriving relationship with Jesus, through loving, redemptive community.
4. “God’s design is for marriage, so we’re going to stick to promoting marriage.”
Suggested response: If we focus only on marriage and nuclear families, we send an unspoken but very loud message that God doesn’t care about adults unless they’re married. I don’t think this accurately reflects God’s heart, because Paul encouraged people to remain single, like him, to better serve the Lord. One of the most pro-marriage things we can do is to bring God’s vision for marital relationships into single-parent homes, where it’s not being modeled. How are the 23 million children growing up in single-parent homes going to know what God’s design is for marriage and family if their family isn’t included in the church’s discipleship plan?
5. “We already have more programs than we can manage.”
Suggested response: Perhaps we should consider whether our current programming, while all good, is actually what’s most important to God’s heart? There are 103 references to widows and fatherless in the NIV, and only 47 to marriage. James 1:27 says “True religion” is visiting the fatherless and widow in their distress. Ministry to widows was the first ministry of the early church and was never considered optional. It is core to the gospel. God never commands us to take up the cause of kids in upper-middle-class, two-parent families, but He repeatedly instructs us to “take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow.” (Isaiah 1:17) If God looked at our church programming and budget, would our priorities reflect His?
Understanding God’s Word and God’s heart on this topic, and respectfully sharing that understanding with leaders in your church who likely received little or no preparation for ministering to single parents and their kids, can go a long way toward preparing the ground for a fruitful Single Parent Ministry to spring forth. For more information or to book the Single Parent Ministries team for a church leader training session, contact [email protected].
When approaching the leadership of any church with a vision and plan to begin ministering to single-parent families, education is critical. One component of this education is to proactively address some of the most common spoken and unspoken objections. I include unspoken because these are often objections people harbor but don’t want to say out loud. However, if you say them - bring them out in the open and address them - it can clear up misconceptions and create a smoother path forward, with more buy-in and support for the ministry.
Let’s look at five objections our team has heard from church leaders when considering Single Parent Ministry, along with suggestions for respectfully addressing them.
1. “We don’t need a single-parent ministry because we don’t have single parents in our church.”
Suggested response: In this case, one of two things is probably happening. Either there really aren’t any single parents in our church, which is a problem because it means we’re completely missing and not ministering to almost half the families in our community, or there are single parents in our church who are slipping in and out under the radar, aren’t being captured in our systems or programming, and don’t have a voice at the table, so no one really knows they’re there. Which do you think is the case at our church?
2. “Aren’t single parents going to be a financial burden on our church?”
Suggested response: God’s ways are not our ways. It doesn’t make sense that when I tithe and give God 10 percent of my income, I’ll come out ahead - with more than if I had kept and spent all of it - yet He promises to bless my obedience. In the same way, when we, as a church, obey God’s command to take care of the widow and the fatherless, He will pour out His blessing on our church. Instead of draining our finances, it will likely cause an explosion of generosity in our church. God’s people love to give to meaningful work, and this is some of the most meaningful work we can do as a church.
3. “Aren’t we promoting divorce or sex outside of marriage by advertising a Single Parent Ministry?”
Suggested response: A similar question might be, “Are we promoting alcoholism by holding AA meetings in our church?” Ministering to people does not encourage them to sin more; rather, the opposite is true. Walking alongside single parents and showing them how to follow Jesus will change the trajectory of their lives and their children’s lives. The goal of a single-parent ministry is not to promote feminism or parenting alone, but to demonstrate God’s love and mercy; to help divorced and single parents find healing and wholeness, and ultimately a thriving relationship with Jesus, through loving, redemptive community.
4. “God’s design is for marriage, so we’re going to stick to promoting marriage.”
Suggested response: If we focus only on marriage and nuclear families, we send an unspoken but very loud message that God doesn’t care about adults unless they’re married. I don’t think this accurately reflects God’s heart, because Paul encouraged people to remain single, like him, to better serve the Lord. One of the most pro-marriage things we can do is to bring God’s vision for marital relationships into single-parent homes, where it’s not being modeled. How are the 23 million children growing up in single-parent homes going to know what God’s design is for marriage and family if their family isn’t included in the church’s discipleship plan?
5. “We already have more programs than we can manage.”
Suggested response: Perhaps we should consider whether our current programming, while all good, is actually what’s most important to God’s heart? There are 103 references to widows and fatherless in the NIV, and only 47 to marriage. James 1:27 says “True religion” is visiting the fatherless and widow in their distress. Ministry to widows was the first ministry of the early church and was never considered optional. It is core to the gospel. God never commands us to take up the cause of kids in upper-middle-class, two-parent families, but He repeatedly instructs us to “take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow.” (Isaiah 1:17) If God looked at our church programming and budget, would our priorities reflect His?
Understanding God’s Word and God’s heart on this topic, and respectfully sharing that understanding with leaders in your church who likely received little or no preparation for ministering to single parents and their kids, can go a long way toward preparing the ground for a fruitful Single Parent Ministry to spring forth. For more information or to book the Single Parent Ministries team for a church leader training session, contact [email protected].
Bio: Dawn VanderWerf is the founder and director of Single Parent Ministries, an organization that equips churches to reach and restore single-parent families. Drawing on her own redemptive experience as a single mom trusting Jesus and more than a decade of working with single parents and churches, Dawn is passionate about seeing today’s widows and fatherless drawn into a life-changing relationship with Jesus and discipled by His Church. Dawn and her husband, Steve, live in Cody, Wyoming, and share four adult children.
Top 5 Struggles of Ministering to Single Parents
by Kris Swiatocho, Director of The Singles Network Ministries
Are you a leader or a pastor? Do you feel led to minister to single parents?
Single parents often have the least flexible schedules yet carry the greatest responsibilities. Many are parenting alone, often without consistent child support, while juggling work, home, and faith.
Single parents are part of our churches and our communities—and they matter deeply to God.
Below are some of the top struggles single parents face. As you read, pray, and ask God how He might be calling you to come alongside these precious families and help meet their needs in practical, loving ways.
1. Time Poverty and Exhaustion
Single parents are often stretched thin—working, parenting, and managing life alone. Church involvement, small groups, or serving can feel overwhelming, even when the desire to grow spiritually is strong. Ministries must recognize that absences are often due to exhaustion, not a lack of commitment.
2. Shame, Guilt, and Church Wounds
Many single parents carry deep feelings of shame—whether from divorce, abandonment, death of a spouse, or unplanned pregnancy. Some have experienced judgment or exclusion in the church, making it difficult to trust spiritual leadership or feel fully accepted in the body of Christ.
3. Lack of Practical Support and Community
The early church met both spiritual and practical needs, yet many single parents struggle without childcare, transportation, meals, or emergency help. When the church offers teaching without tangible support, single parents may feel unseen or unsupported.
4. Navigating Discipleship While Parenting Alone
Single parents often wrestle with how to disciple their children while managing their own spiritual growth. Without a spouse, they carry the full weight of spiritual leadership at home, often questioning if they’re “doing enough” or “doing it right.”
5. Feeling Like They Don’t Fit Anywhere
Single parents frequently feel caught between groups—too busy for singles ministry, yet not fitting the traditional “family” model. This can lead to isolation within the church, even while surrounded by people. Ministries must intentionally create space where single parents feel they truly belong.
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
–Isaiah 41:10, NIV
Note: We are aware that many grandparents, aunts/uncles, and friends are raising kids today.
For more resources, see our page here: https://www.thesinglesnetwork.org/other-authors-single-parent.html, which lists ministries focused on single parents.
Single parents often have the least flexible schedules yet carry the greatest responsibilities. Many are parenting alone, often without consistent child support, while juggling work, home, and faith.
Single parents are part of our churches and our communities—and they matter deeply to God.
Below are some of the top struggles single parents face. As you read, pray, and ask God how He might be calling you to come alongside these precious families and help meet their needs in practical, loving ways.
1. Time Poverty and Exhaustion
Single parents are often stretched thin—working, parenting, and managing life alone. Church involvement, small groups, or serving can feel overwhelming, even when the desire to grow spiritually is strong. Ministries must recognize that absences are often due to exhaustion, not a lack of commitment.
2. Shame, Guilt, and Church Wounds
Many single parents carry deep feelings of shame—whether from divorce, abandonment, death of a spouse, or unplanned pregnancy. Some have experienced judgment or exclusion in the church, making it difficult to trust spiritual leadership or feel fully accepted in the body of Christ.
3. Lack of Practical Support and Community
The early church met both spiritual and practical needs, yet many single parents struggle without childcare, transportation, meals, or emergency help. When the church offers teaching without tangible support, single parents may feel unseen or unsupported.
4. Navigating Discipleship While Parenting Alone
Single parents often wrestle with how to disciple their children while managing their own spiritual growth. Without a spouse, they carry the full weight of spiritual leadership at home, often questioning if they’re “doing enough” or “doing it right.”
5. Feeling Like They Don’t Fit Anywhere
Single parents frequently feel caught between groups—too busy for singles ministry, yet not fitting the traditional “family” model. This can lead to isolation within the church, even while surrounded by people. Ministries must intentionally create space where single parents feel they truly belong.
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
–Isaiah 41:10, NIV
Note: We are aware that many grandparents, aunts/uncles, and friends are raising kids today.
For more resources, see our page here: https://www.thesinglesnetwork.org/other-authors-single-parent.html, which lists ministries focused on single parents.
Single Parenting
I never planned to be a single parent. Like most people, you get married to stay married. You buy a home, start planning a family, and live life. Then, things change, and you find yourself alone, raising kids without much support. You can choose to stay angry or seek the help you need to navigate this new life. I am thankful for Kris and The Singles Network Ministries. The website is so full of excellent articles and resources. I am also grateful for the additional links to ministries focusing on single parents. With God's help and others, just one day at a time. |
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