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Building your Singles Ministry/Other Authors


Overcoming Insecurities by Cory Nickols

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Did you know every person on the planet deals with insecurities, including your parents, your siblings, your mentor, and those you admire most? Even the president of the United States, iconic pop stars, academic professors, doctors, professional athletes, and pastors and teachers of the Word of God have to fight against their insecurities?  Can I dare say this? Even you have them! So, what are insecurities? They are defined as uncertainties or anxieties about oneself or a lack of confidence. If we don’t learn how to combat these self-doubts within us, they can keep us from reaching our highest potential in Christ and even stop us from fulfilling our God-given destiny.
 
Gideon, one of God’s people in the Old Testament, was a man that had to face his insecurities. He felt like he was a nobody and not someone who could save his people from the oppression of the powerful Midianites.
 
Judges 6:14-16 NLT
“Then the Lord turned to him (Gideon) and said, ‘Go with the strength you have and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!’ “But Lord,” Gideon replied, ‘how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!” The Lord said to him, ‘I will be with you. And you will destroy the Midianites as if you were fighting against one man.’”
 
Gideon couldn’t see himself the way God did, as a “mighty man of valor.” Gideon was an insecure man from his limited vantage point, the least in his family, and from the weakest tribe in Israel. He felt unequipped, helpless, and had his mind made up that his insufficient status in society wasn’t enough to influence all of Israel to rally around him. Yet, despite Gideon’s reluctance to believe who he truly was, God spoke the truth over him that he was mighty and influential and commissioned to save God’s people!! The “X-Factor” was God Himself. God went with Gideon, giving him a favor, causing him to stand out from the rest. This gave Gideon confidence to step out in faith past the lies and self-doubt. With only 300 men, God used Gideon to rescue His people from the tyranny of the Midianites!
 
What’s interesting about this story is that God told Gideon to “Go with the strength you have…I am sending you.” God didn’t demand anything extra of Gideon that he couldn’t do. He was to go in his strength. In other words, he used what he had – his giftings, his influence, his resources. God would take care of everything else Gideon lacked. He was the X-Factor!
 
So many times, we focus on what we don’t have. If only I had that singing voice, a degree from that college, or if I looked like that person or had their talent, I would be successful. The problem is, God didn’t give you what they have. He gave you what you have on purpose. If He wanted you to have what they have, He would have given it to you. Go in the strength that God has given you and watch Him do what only He can do. When He calls you, He anoints you and equips you for the task at hand. Choose to believe by faith that you are enough! You have what it takes. You can do what God has asked you to do.
 
I had to learn this lesson in my own life. One season in particular, during my adolescent years, I had a pretty high voice for a male. Sometimes people on the other end of a telephone call would mistake my voice for a female’s. That bothered me! It didn’t help that I grew late, so at the age of 16, when most adolescent boys’ voices had gotten deeper, mine still hadn’t. This insecurity destroyed my self-confidence and made me shy. I hated talking in public, and I was terrified of speaking or performing in front of people. Deep inside, I knew my destiny was drawing me to influence others, but the fear of what I perceived people were thinking about me kept me from pursuing the gift God gave me. This stronghold stuck with me even into college.
 
It was at this time that I had my own Gideon moment. God told me He created me to be a preacher and teacher of God’s Word. That meant I had to speak in front of people! Just the thought of it terrified me! I was afraid of what people would think of me, especially my voice. One day, God whispered to me while driving my car, “Cory, I’m pleased with whom I made you.” I didn’t fully understand what that meant at the time but eventually realized that God didn’t make a mistake when He created me. He gave me my voice. And if I was going to become all that He wanted me to be, I had to push past this insecurity with great confidence in Him and what He said about me! So that’s what I did. I chose to believe I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I chose to believe that I am equipped for the task the Creator of the Universe destined me for. It was scary, but God met me every time I got up to speak. I could sense His power and pleasure when I trusted Him at His word. Today, I travel all over the U.S., speaking for an anti-trafficking organization called Destiny Rescue, and I have a teaching ministry, Cory Nickols Ministries, that is helping people know God, find freedom and discover their God-given purpose. I often think about what if I never overcame my fear? What if I never had the courage to step out in faith, trusting God that my voice was enough? I would still be stuck living far below my potential.
 
God met me where I was and helped me get unstuck. He told me to use the gifts and talents He had given me – my voice – and He would do the rest.
 
What insecurities do you have? Are they robbing you of your God-given destiny? Take the limitations off of God. Believe that what He has given you is enough! What you lack, He is more than capable of making it up to you. He didn’t make a mistake when He created you, and He didn’t short-change you with your looks, personality, intelligence level, skill sets, or resources. God wasn’t having a bad day when He spoke you into existence. He knew exactly what He was doing! Put your little into His hands and then stand amazed at what He can do with a life devoted to Him!

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Cory Nickols
About Cory Nickols
Cory is the Destiny Rescue USA’s Director of Strategic Partnerships and one of Destiny Rescues key spokespersons. His passion for the issue of child sexual slavery stems from his own story of abuse he experienced as a minor. As he moved forward on his own healing journey, he discovered he had a gift to write and speak, so he began sharing out of his own life experiences from brokenness to wholeness to help others. In this season he came across the work of Destiny Rescue and realized he had to do something to help defend children. It was a divine turning point. Cory started working for Destiny Rescue out of their international headquarters in Chiang Rai, Thailand, as their Senior Writer. Eventually his role grew to become their International Media Director. While working overseas, Cory saw horrific injustices done to children, which ultimately stirred his heart to return to the U.S. to tell these child survivors’ stories. Today as a key communicator, Cory travels extensively throughout the United States and beyond to bring greater awareness to the pandemic of human trafficking and to inspire audiences of all ages to play their part in defending children around the world. He is also a frequent guest on TV and radio programs.

​Contact Cory at cory@destinyrescue.org or call 714-293-4353.
​

Cleaning out the Project Queue: 10 Small Tips for Big Impact
by Cheryl Scanlan

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Do your projects align with your values?
There’s a saying that goes like this: Show someone your checkbook and they can tell you what you value. We can tell a lot about a person by how they spend their money. Today, I’m going to switch it up a bit and say, show someone your project list and they can tell you what you do with your time, focus and intention.

What items are on your project list and how long have they been there? How many items do you keep looking over with the thought that you will get to them one day? What’s your plan for the illusive “one day” naggers on that list?

Too many questions? I will take a different approach. Here are 10 mini tips that will help you clean out the project queue and proceed with greater alignment with what is truly important to you.  This well help you asses and distinguish those items you are truly want to tackle from those that perhaps it’s time to let go.

The Project Inventory
Tips 1 to 5 map out your inner work toward exformation (or information explosion).

Tip One: Do a project dump and write down every single project you can think of including the ones on your list and the ones you’ve been meaning to put on your list. Don’t hold back. Don’t put them in any order, just get everything out.

Tip Two: Group items into categories.  Work, home (inside & outside), church, commitments to friends or family, community projects, car projects and even projects like planning your vacation or taking a weekend to unplug. You might even give the categories different colors by using a highlighter or sticky notes.

Tip Three: Give each item a bit of scrutiny by asking this question, “what do I _________?” (fill in the blank from the four d’s below):
  • Defer – Keep on the list so you can do it later. Set up a reminder system for the later date that you select.
  • Delegate – Pass this item along to someone else to complete.  
  • Do – This is something you can do now or reasonably soon. When?
  • Dump – Completely disregard this item. Dump it and forget about it! Perhaps it was not that important in the first place.

Tip Four: Change the way you take on projects. Say no when you need to say no and yes when you intend to get the project done. Discipline yourself to pass on project offerings right away, so that the right person can take it on.

Tip Five: What’s the priority? Now that you have a good “do” list, what happens first? Next? And so on.

5 More Tips

Nice work!  Now that we’ve done the internal work, tips 6 to 10 enhance this refined plan with support.

Tip Six: Design an accountability system for yourself. Once you agree to “do” the project, who or what can help keep you on track? What do you need? What might get in your way of getting the things you want to get done, done?

Tip Seven: Be honest. There’s no prize for the one who has the longest project list that never gets done. What’s important to you? What aligns with your values? What aligns with your goals, your family, your faith?

Tip Eight: Be diligent about protecting your project funnel to avoid clogs and blockages. This often requires weekly, if not daily reviews and recalibrations during more intense phases of work.  The busier you are, the more reflection time is needed.

Tip Nine: Be flexible. If you put something on the list or put it in the funnel, you can go back and take it off. Without being aware, unmet expectations, especially the things you expect of yourself, can be exhausting. Sometimes the most freeing thing you can do is go back and re-work your list from a values and goals point of view e.g. Most Important Principles (MIPs) broken down into Most Important Tasks (MITs).

Tip Ten: Schedule a regular time to review your project list. Put it on your calendar with a reminder set. Use tools, apps or a system to keep you focused on completing your projects or taking them through the Defer, Delegate, Do, Dump review. You are a priority and this matters.  Worth repeating here:  The busier you are, the more reflection time is needed.

​Your project list tells a story. 
Moving from wishful thinking to intentional and honest planning accompanied with action will invigorate!  Overtime, a higher percentage of your time will reflect who you are and your values, resulting in a deep sense of fulfillment. Your project list will tell a story that you will enjoy reading!
 
To read article on C3Advantage, Click here

Scanlan
About Cheryl Scanlan
Cheryl Scanlan, MCC, CMCC, BCC is president of C3Advantage. She has worked with CEOs that are in Fortune 100 through next generation small business owners. Having also run a multi-million dollar firm in New York, Cheryl knows the importance of business goals and the impact of teams. Cheryl's thought partnering method helps leaders see clearly what is fuzzy, articulate what is currently unintelligible, and generate coherent and executable strategy.
cheryl@cherylscanlan.com
www.CherylScanlan.com


Kathy and I have had the pleasure of working with Kris of The Single Network Ministries at several events over the past three years. We always look forward to her insight and creative ways to connect with her audience sharing the Word of God with encouragement, humor and just being real. You will want to catch her for sure the next time she is in your area. Her sense of humor is a hoot and infectious.
—Kathy and Klay Watson,  Dating His Way Ministries

Leadership, General

  • Leading Project Queue by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Solving a Problem by Cheryl Scanlan
  • The E Word: Entitlement by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Synchronize vs. Strategic:
    The Power of Going Slow to go Fast
     
    by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Hindsight is 20/20 Until it Isn't by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Voices by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Leadership Video by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Can Your Dream During COVID? by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Why Mentor a Fatherless Boy by Matt Haviland
  • The COVID-19 Portal by Cheryl Scanlan
  • The Psychology of Crisis by Dr. Henry Cloud
  • 8 Ways to Reach Singles Adults Through Your Church by Chuck Lawless
  • 6 Characteristics of a Healthy Singles Ministry by Alex Florea/Boundless.org
  • The Marks of a Spiritual Leader by John Piper
  • Toxic Environments by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Give Your Singles Space to Mingle by Justin Megna, Church Leaders, doc
  • 4 Critical Reminders about Singles in Your Congregation by Lifeway
  • Where do Singles Fit in the Church Family by Rick Hughes
  • Interference by Cheryl Scanlan​
  • Prove It To Me by Cheryl Scanlan​​
  • I'm Confused by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Singleness and New Converts by Tim Laitinen
  • Lost Identity by Holy Crain
  • Conflict Overview by Lisa Jackson
  • Person, Project or Problem by Cheryl Scanlan
  • The Value in Waiting After a Relationship Breakup by Vicki L. Olton
  • ​Influence and Authority by Cheryl Scanlan
  • You Are Here by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Acceptance with Joy by Pastor Jim Bouck
  • Enjoy Today by Pastor Jim Bouck
  • C3 Advantage Leadership Insights by Cheryl Scanlan
  • ​Leadership Development, Pastor Andy Jennings
  • Leadership Notebook by Pastor Don Munton
  • ​How To Solve the Problem of Single People in the Church by Vicky Legge, His Heart Ministry Training, AU
  • 10 Things I Learned About Christians When My Blog Post Went VIRAL  
  • 59% of Millennials Raised in Church Have Dropped Out--And They're Trying to Tell Us Why by Faith Hit
  • 3 Ways Leaders Cultivate Stability During Change by Cheryl Scanlan
  • Same-Sex Attraction/The Church by Brad Hambrick
  • 18 Myths Singles Believe by Perry Noble
  • Grace Place Celebrates 2nd Anniversary by Suzanne Adams, Singles Director
  • Singles Ministry UK by Chris Kelly
  • Top 10 Ways Churches Drive Away Their First Time Guest by Thom Rainer
  • Why Do Churches Treat Singleness Like a Problem? by Rachel Karmen
  • It's All In A Name by Keith Lowry, BGCT
  • What I Wish Pastors Knew About Divorce by Laura Petherbridge
  • My Step Child Hates Me by Laura Petherbridge
  • 10 Things All Singles Need to Know by Pastor James Patterson
  • What if You Had Someone in your ministry with ADD? by Allen White
  • 17 Tough Love Principles for Single and Married Couples by Dr. Dobson, Focus on the Family
  • 8 Values of Teamwork that Keep the Church Healthy by Rick Warren
  • Honoring Volunteers by Jennifer Maggio
  • Small Group Connection Idea
  • The Importances of Planning MInistry by Jennifer Maggio, The Life of a Single Mom
  • 10 Tips for Ministering to Singles by Dianne Davis​
  • Singles Ministry: The Missing Link in Family Ministry by Pastor Jesse Rincones
  • Marriage: Optional - Disposable – Re-definable? by Dennis Franck
  • Are Single People the Lepers of Today's Church by Gina Delfanzo
  • Why Singles Belong in Church Leadership by Lore Ferguson
  • Adult Children of Divorce by Linda Ransom Jacobs
  • The Fallacy of Singles Ministry and the Beauty of Biblical Obedience by John Gunter
  • Reaching Single Adults in a Married World by Dennis Franck, National Singles Director, Assemblies of God
  • A Single Friendly Church: 12 Steps to Growth by Christian Singles Mix, London, UK
  • Why Singles MInistry Isn't Growing by Bob Pierson
  • Never Start a Ministry (even Singles) Without a Minister
  • by Rick Warren
  • Pastors.com
  • Launching a Singles Ministry by Christianity Today 
  • Why Singles Ministry Isn't Easy by Tim Laitinen, Published by Crosswalk.com
  • 8 Principles for a Singles Ministry by Brian Mavis
  • What Happened to Singles Ministry by Adam Stadtmiller
  • Christianity Today
  • Numerous dating/relationship articles and video's by Brian Kluth
  • Singles in the Church: The Ghost Demographic by Tim Laitinen Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
  • 10 Commandments of Dating
  • Being a Visionary for Your Ministry by Kevin Miller
  • 18 Myths Singles Believe by Pastor Perry Noble, NewSpring Church, Ocala, FL
  • 8 Single Principles for Starting a Singles Ministry by Brian Mavis, ChurchLeaders.com (doc)
  • The Great Disappearing Singles Ministry  by Tim Laitinen
  • Crosswalk Online Magazine (original publisher)
  • Churches Supporting the Unmarried by Rodd Kerr
  • Salisbury Post, Salisbury, NC
  • How to Serve the "Singles" by Carolyn McCulley (doc)
  • Why Pastors Fall into Sin by Jack Frost
  • Gays, Christians and Holiness by Tim Laitinen, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
  • Whither the Single Male Missionary? Tim Laitinen, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
  • SAM Long-term Master Plan Q&A by Bobb Biehl and Joseph Northcut
  • Steps to Financial Freedom for Single Parent by Lynne Thompson via Focus on the Family​
  • What Does a Married Pastor Have to Say to Singles? by Andrew Farmer, Sovereign Grace Ministries
  • Singles in the Church by Tim Laitenen
  • Young and Singles Ministry Articles by several authors in the Enrich Journal by National AOG
  • For Single Men and Women by John Piper
  • Alone in the Pew by Christianity Today
    ​

Personal Growth

  • Overcoming Insecurities by Cory Nickols
  • A Never-Ending Stream by Michelle Eigemann
  • A Golden Calf by Michelle Eigemann
  • A Harvest of Kiddos by Amanda R. Allen
  • A Fight You Must Win by Gloria Godson
  • Guidelines for Dating Purity by Chuck Lawless
  • Change the Channel by Cory Nickols
  • 5 Ways to Press On After Failure by Shelley Pulliam
  • Not This Time Devil by Michelle Eigemann
  • Goliath Will Fall by Michelle Eigemann
  • Prone to Wander by Michelle Eigemann
  • Now We Wait by Michelle Eigemann
  • Help my Unbelief by Michelle Eigemann
  • Wounded Warrior by Michelle Eigemann
  • Slipped Through My Hands by Michelle Eigemann
  • Searching by Michelle Eigemann
  • Who Do You Say I Am by Michelle Eigemann
  • A Journal We Will Never Forget by Braxton Critcher
  • Don't Get Through Singleness, Leverage It by Pastor J.D. Greer
  • Image Bearer by Michelle Eigemann
  • So You Think You Should Date by Damien Nash
  • How Christian Traits Affect Your Marriage by Nate Stevens
  • Caring for your Aging Parent by Rozanne Banicki
  • The Dating Games by Marshal Segel
  • Become the Healthiest Version of You by Cory Nichols
  • The Difference Between Stolen and Persuaded Hearts by Nate Stevens
  • Freedom in Christ by Cheryl Scanlan
  • 3 Decisions You Make to Become the Right One by Damien Nash​
  • Dating Advice for the 21st Century by Damien Nash
  • Red Flags in Dating Relationships by Ernest Jefferson, Jr.
  • Identity Theft by Lisa Jackson
  • Dating 101 by Lisa Jackson
  • Does Dating Prepare You Marriage or Divorce by Marshall Segal
  • Those Prayers He Doesn't Seem to Answer by Lisa Jackson
  • Encouragement by Lisa Jackson
  • Lonely or Empty? by Cindi Nobel
  • Anticipation by Lisa Jackson
  • You're The Mirror on the Wall by Cindi Nobel
  • Survival Tips by Laura Petheridge (via DivorceCare.org)
  • Enjoy Today by Pastor Jim Bouck
  • 10 Essentials for Christian Dating by Singles Pastor Jim Bouck
  • Singles & Self Care​ by Vicky Legge, His Heart Ministry Training, AU
  • ​10 ways to alienate and drive divorced/single again people away from your church​ by Vicky Legge, His Heart Ministry Training, AU
  • Financial Resources: Action Points, Steve Repak
  • I Have Never by Sharyn Kopf​
  • Live Out Loud Discipleship Series by Pastor Lester Rector, Faith Assemblies of God, Orlando, FL
  • The Place Where Pain Heals by Kevin DeVries
  • Date Night with Jesus by Andrea Best
  • Five Confessions of a Newly Married Wife by Ruth Clemence
  • Letting God of the Past by Melissa O'Connor
  • I Finally Got the Ring by Amanda Martin
  • Where are All the Men by Tim Laitinen
  • What is Anxiety? by Eddie Walker
  • Bruise Weeds and Weak Wicks by Tim Laitinen
  • How to Find the Right Mate by Lee Grady
  • Honor in the Friend Zone by Nate Stevens
  • Being Single on Valentines Day, posted by CBN.com
  • 9 Serious Questions Before You Get Married by Lee Grady
  • On Singleness: The Inclusive Love of God by Pastor Mark Comer
  • Do People See Jesus When They Look at Me by Nate Stevens
  • 7 Steps Towards Spiritual Fitness by Zane Reavis
  • Failure to Launch by Zane Reavis
  • Solving the Mystery of Marriage by Nate Stevens
  • Are you Important? by David Nobles, former singles pastor
  • Being Courageous in our Witness by Nate Stevens
  • Using Our Trials and Sufferings by Nate Stevens
  • What You Know and How You Know It by Nate Stevens
  • Trusting A Friend by Nate Stevens
  • Aging and Singleness by Margaret-Ann Howie
  • Desiring God, a ministry by John Piper
  • What to Look for in a Spiritual Mentor by Cliff Young, Crosswalk Contributing Writer 
  • Single in Christ: A Name Better Than Sons or Daughters Video/Outline by John Piper
  • Dying to Self by Author Unknown, Submitted by Dennis Franck
  • He Said-She Said: Stop Thinking About Finding a Mate by Laura MacCorkle and Cliff Young
  • The Challenges of Dating in Later Life by Shana Schutte
  • A View from the Cross-Road by Peggy Barnhill
  • Invisible Singles by David Briggs, Huffington Post Featured Writer
  • 7 Steps To Give For A Missions Presentation by Norm Howell
  • Forgiveness and Healing by Clayton Coates, Former Singles Pastor, Saddleback
  • An Unexpected Testimony by Pastor Mark Lindsay, Shadowbrook BC, Suwanee, GA
  • How to Recognize God's Voice by Pastor Kevin Club, Cape Carteret Baptist Church, Cape Carteret, NC
  • Tips for Publishing Your Own Work by Rich Hurst, McLean Bible Church
  • Lead a Life Worthy of Your Calling by Cliff Young
  • Maturity by Author Unknown, Submitted by Dennis Franck

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  • Home
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