21 Point Prayer Guide for Singles and Young Adult Ministry

Below is a list of prayer points that you can use as an individual, in a small group, a Sunday school class, a ministry, a church, a leadership team, or any other group. The goal is to pray for God, through His Holy Spirit, to provide solutions to meet the various needs of singles and young adults in our churches today. Instead of complaining, let’s praise God for what we see working and pray for the rest. This prayer guide can be completed in one day, over 21 points for 21 days, or in 21 weeks.

Note: We encourage any suggestions or comments by emailing Kris Swiatocho, the author, at [email protected].  Feel free to edit to fit your church by putting in the names of your pastors, churches, leaders, teachers, and your city, etc., so that it’s specific to those areas that need change. We kindly request that you include a link back to www.TheSinglesNetwork.org or list the website at the end. Also, we suggest a follow-up meeting to discuss the changes you have seen and your next steps.

Praise God for what He Has Done and Is Doing!

We praise God for the existing ministry to single and young adults:
  • For those leaders, pastors, married adults, and other singles who love them where they are, knowing God is the one who transforms lives.
  • For our churches, in our community, and online.
  • For existing retreats, mission opportunities, events, and conferences.
  • For online resources, including articles, tools, and bible studies, that help connect singles and young adults, encourage, and support.
  • For para-ministries such as divorce recovery, grief recovery, drug and substance abuse, and counseling services.
  • For God not to forget their valuable demographic.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to pray for single and young adults.
  • Goal to steal, kill, and destroy single and young adults.
  • Distractions and division among single and young adults.

SINGLE AND YOUNG ADULTS
We pray for single and young adults:
  • To be saved and follow Christ.
  • Spiritual growth leads to increased wisdom and faith.
  • God's truth and their revealed purpose.
  • Involvement in a healthy, growing Bible-focused church.
  • A heart to want to serve the church and community.
  • A desire to represent singleness positively.
  • Guidance to minister/lead to other single and young adults, including discipleship and leadership.

​We pray against the enemies:
  • Lies to singles and young adults, claiming they will always be alone and never marry.
  • Lies telling them they can’t be forgiven for past, present, or future sins.
  • Reminders of past mistakes and failures keep them stuck.
  • Planting of seeds of doubt and despair.
  • The encouragement to complain, stay angry, and be discontented. 

PASTORS, LEADERS, MINISTERS
We pray for our pastors, leaders, and ministers:
  • Eyes open to the needs of single and young adults.
  • To gain a true understanding of their importance to the church and community.
  • To be sensitive, provide support, and understanding to those who desire marriage, but also toward those who prefer singleness.
  • To provide opportunities for singles and young adults to meet with pastors, leaders, and ministers for honest dialogue, leading to more support and understanding.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to blind our pastors, leaders, and ministers to the needs and values of single and young adults.
  • Goal to reduce or eliminate resources to help single and young adults. 
  • Goal to dissolve single and young adult ministries by letting go of pastors, leaders, and ministers to lead them.
  • Destroy and dissolve single and young adults completely.
  • Lies accusing singles of causing divorce or division within the church.
  • Lies that singles are only there for the flesh, not personal growth in Christ. 

SERMONS
We pray for sermons to :
  • Use single adults and young adults as examples of godly living, whether from Scripture—such as Paul, Mary, Martha, and Jesus—or otherwise.
  • Balance messages addressing all stages of single and young adult life.
  • That makes singles feel valued, included, and needed.
  • Include opportunities for single and young adults to teach and share testimonials.
  • Understand that single and young adults are vital assets to the church, ministries, and the community.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to exclude the needs of single and young adults from the context of sermons.
  • Tactics to make single and young adults feel unloved or unwelcome in the church.
  • Sermons that focus too much on demographics that do not include single and young adults. 

HOLIDAYS
We pray for our churches and ministries, including pastors, leaders, and ministers, to be:
  • Sensitive to the needs and emotional difficulties singles and young adults face around the holidays, specifically Mother’s and Father’s Days, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day.
  • Aware of how holidays affect single and young adults differently from married adults.
  • Aware of single and young adults’ specific needs during these occasions, and make prayerful efforts to meet those needs through messages, programs, events, and activities.
  • Aware of those facing financial difficulties, raising children on their own, the death of a spouse, or dealing with aloneness during this time.
  • Willing to reach out and build community so that no one is forgotten.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Attacks on singles and young adults during the holidays. Attacks of feeling unloved, unvalued, and unimportant; of being told they are worthless.  
  • Lies to single and young adults that life will never change and they will always feel this way.
  • The goal of the church is to exclude single and young adults from church events and activities, which often focus more on traditional families.

CHURCH SUPPORT
We pray for our churches to:
  • Provide resources to minister to and grow single and young adult ministries.
  • Create budgets that include funds to cover resources such as Bible studies, conferences, retreats, events, leader training, guest speakers, worship bands, mission trips, and support for those in need. 
  • Provide adequate meeting spaces with updated sound and video technology.
  • Childcare.
  • Support single and young adult missionaries, as well as those serving outside the church.
  • Provide resources specifically designed to help singles and young adults build friendships that can lead to dating, engagement, and marriage, such as Intentional Relationships for Singles and Boundaries in Dating.
  • Make efforts to support para-ministries such as Divorce Care, GriefShare, The Life of a Single Mom, Single Parent Missions, Arise Single Moms, Financial Peace, Boundless, Celebrate Recovery, and Intentional Relationship Solutions, among others.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Attempts to limit or eliminate the church's access to resources.
  • Goal of ignorance of the need to help singles financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
  • Goal to eliminate working with para-ministries and other outside support ministries.

CHURCH/MINISTRY STAFF
We pray for our church and ministry staff to:
  • Train existing staff and/or hire staff, pastors, and directors for the ministry to single and young adults.
  • Desire to minister to single and young adults.
  • Understand the heart of this demographic, whether the staff member is married or single.
  • Listen, come alongside, disciple, train, and counsel singles and young adults.
  • Be willing to attend single and young adult events, get involved, build community, and offer support.
  • Maintain a positive attitude towards this area of ministry.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Hindrances to hiring pastors or directors who understand single and young adult ministry.
  • Efforts to keep the needs of singles and young adults from being met in the church.
  • Excuses to not hire someone to start/lead a singles or young adult ministry.
  • Attempts to wear out our existing pastors, directors, and leaders.

TEACHING SINGLES AND YOUNG ADULTS
We pray for:
  • Messages that cover identity, conflict resolution, budgeting, blind spots, trust, friendships, anger, boundaries, and more in all their relationships, including romantic ones, from the pulpit to everyday life.
  • The inclusion of Bible studies, open discussions, Q&A events, and panel discussions on topics specific to the needs of single and young adults.
  • For pastors, directors, leaders, and teachers to be willing to teach topics that minister to young and single adults. 
  • Adjustments to teaching methods as the needs of single and young adults change.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to steer messages away from essential topics within single and young adult small groups and Bible studies.
  • Goal to get teachers to focus only on what appeals to or meets their needs.
  • The goal is not to facilitate healthy dialogue that connects singles for friendships. Friendships that could lead to intentional relationships, potentially including dating and marriage.

CONFERENCES, RETREATS, WORKSHOPS
We pray for:
  • Churches will regularly host conferences, retreats, and workshops on single and young adult-related topics.
  • Married leaders should get involved by serving and offering support.
  • Training to keep leaders excited and on fire for single and young adult ministry.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Schemes to keep singles from meeting new people, building friendships, learning about God, and growing in their faith through events, conferences, and retreats.
  • Lies that these types of events are out of date, unnecessary, or not worthwhile.
  • Goal to keep leaders trained to start and lead them so they are successful.

INREACH TO SINGLE AND YOUNG ADULTS
We pray for:
  • Development of programs that encourage single and young adults within the church to get involved in all areas of church ministry.
  • Creative ways to reach single and young adults, whether from the pulpit, through the church website, emailing (building a database), bulletin, social media, posters/flyers, or word of mouth.
  • Development is an ongoing effort to develop a positive image of single and young adults within the church.
  • Divine connections.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to keep singles and young adults disconnected from others in the church.
  • Efforts to keep singles alone, without community.
  • Lies to the church that they do not have singles or young adults.
  • Lies that the existing singles and young adults are happy where they are and require no effort to reach or connect them to the body of Christ.

SINGLE AND YOUNG ADULT MEN
We pray for:
  • Efforts to reach out to and bring single and young adult men to our churches and ministries.
  • Efforts to reach out to and mentor single and young adult men to be leaders, teachers, and mentors themselves.
  • Men’s ministries within our churches need to be sensitive and aware toward single and young adult men of all ages and backgrounds, including single dads, who are often forgotten.
  • Ways to help single and young adult men know their value and importance, as well as the role God has given them.
  • Single and young adult men need to grow stronger in all areas of their lives, ready to stand and take responsibility.
  • Single and young adult men can learn how to be spiritual leaders in romantic relationships, including marriage.
  • Understanding the needs of single and young adult women who seek to be part of the solution, interceding for single and young adult men while supporting and affirming them.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Attempts to destroy single and young adult men through lies and false identities.
  • Attacks to keep men ignorant, unaware, weak, and fearful in life.
  • Attacks of addiction from porn to substance abuse.
  • Attacks of keeping me feeling unworthy.
  • Goal to keep men from the church, from getting saved, serving, joining a small group, or growing in their relationship with Christ.

OUTREACH TO SINGLE AND YOUNG ADULTS:
We pray for:
  • Healthy singles and leaders to develop productive ways to reach single and young adults in the community, including people who are lost, saved but not attending church, or saved, attending a church but not involved.
  • A willingness to share resources and network with other churches and ministries to reach singles and young adults within the community.
  • Creative, successful ideas to connect with people in our parks, streets, shelters, prisons, and neighborhoods.
  • Training in leading people to Christ, in how to share their faith. 
  • Short, local mission trips and longer ones outside the state or country.
  • Partnerships with organizations that are already successful in reaching those outside the church.

​We pray against the enemies:
  • Attempts to keep God’s Word from going out into the community, of reaching singles and young adults.
  • Goal to prevent people from sharing the gospel and leading others to Christ.
  • Goal to keep singles and young adults from coming to church, whether there is an existing singles and young adult ministry or not. 
  • Goal to keep single and young adults from seeing the value of attending Church.

SINGLE PARENTS, DIVORCED, and WIDOWED
We pray for:
  • Resources to minister to those who are separated, divorced, or getting divorced, and the children who may be affected.
  • Ministries focused on those raising grandchildren or those who foster or adopt children.
  • Counseling to be offered or supported.
  • The right resources and the desire to assist children with special needs.
  • Programs geared toward widows and widowers, regardless of age, so they can receive the help they need in their homes, with their children, and for mental or physical health issues.
  • Struggling singles and young adults need to speak out, trusting their church is a safe place for biblical truth and healthy support.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to wound those already hurting and his schemes to draw newly separated or divorced individuals into other romantic relationships too soon.
  • Goal to have no resources to help those separated, divorced, widowed, or parenting alone (or sharing parenting).
  • Attacks on those struggling emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
  • Goal to keep these individuals outside the church, trying to fix things independently.

MENTOR/DISCIPLE RELATIONSHIPS
We pray for:
  • Faithful believers who will come alongside single and young adults and mentor them in their faith. 
  • Resources and programs leading to spiritual growth immediately following a person’s salvation decision.
  • Those we have discipled to, in turn, lead others to Christ with a desire to disciple and mentor them.
  • An in-depth knowledge of spiritual truth to rebuke the devil’s snares.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Attempts to keep new believers immature in their walk with Christ.
  • Whispering of doubts regarding salvation and the fear it could be “lost.”
  • Goal to keep folks fearful that they are not equipped to help anyone else in their walk.

BOOKS/STUDIES
We pray for:
  • Authors who write and develop material for single and young adults, as well as publishers, should continue to support and publish these products.
  • Resources to get into churches and ministries—and into the hands of single and young adults—to encourage, support, and educate.
  • Church leaders and members are to seek out these materials to learn more about single and young adults.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Attempts to quiet the voices of writers and developers of single and young adult resources and prevent them from reaching the churches and singles who need them.
  • Goal to destroy resources, including those online.
  • Focus on making money more important than reaching and growing people in Christ.

SINGLE MINISTRY EXPERTS
We pray for:
  • Congregations that value and support single and young adult ministry experts through financial support and prayer.
  • Respect and open dialogue between pastors/leaders and these professionals.
  • A partnership with these experts and the ministries they lead.
  • The Lord to raise up more experts in the area of single and young adult ministries.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to destroy these experts, whether by bankrupting them financially or discouraging them from leaving this vital ministry.
  • Goal of blinding our churches, pastors, and leaders into thinking they do not need these experts.
  • Goal to make these experts feel unworthy.
    ​
MARKETING/PUBLIC RELATIONS
We pray for:
  • Creative ways to reach single and young adults through items such as printed material, magnets, t-shirts, pens, etc., as well as through the use of LCD screens in our churches, websites, and social media.
  • Church websites often contain helpful information, e.g., photos, up-to-date calendars, and other resources.
  • Opportunities to work with TV, radio, and online podcasts, providing connections to start and grow single and young adult-focused ministries.
  • Finances to cover these efforts.
  • The church is to see and promote the value that single and young adults bring to their church and community.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Deterrents to reaching the single and young adult community.
  • Goal to reduce or inhibit technology.
  • Spreading of lies about single and young adults, singles ministries, and the importance of both to the church.
  • Schemes to keep communication open and clear so that the church, the ministries, leaders, pastors, directors, and teachers can reach single and young adults.

SPECIFIC TO THE SINGLE AND YOUNG ADULT THEMSELVES AND THEIR EMOTIONS
We pray for:
  • Courage of singles and young adults to talk with their pastors and leaders about their needs.
  • Insight offered to the church out of kindness and careful thought rather than from a place of anger.
  • Hearts willing to serve, tithe, and be obedient to pastors/leaders despite not always feeling welcome, understood, or valued.
  • A longing to work for God, not man.
  • The faith to constantly go before the Lord in prayer, looking for guidance in how to serve Him and His people.
  • Protection for those who are confused, hurt, or want to leave the church. Give them the courage to speak with their pastor first, rather than gossip or complain, and grant the pastor a heart of understanding to listen.
  • Strength to stand firm in biblical truth.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Who would use words, place thoughts, to belittle, scare, or push away single and young adults from the church God called them to?
  • Attempts to exploit the weaknesses and fears of single and young adults.
  • And bind him, protecting single and young adults. 

FORMER SINGLES AND YOUNG ADULTS WHO ARE MARRIED
We pray for:
  • Married couples often feel called to start a ministry for single and young adults or to serve in an existing one.
  • Honest conversations with pastors, leaders, teachers, and singles about how they can help.
  • Guidance and direction in educating the church congregation about single and young adults to become part of the solution to minister to this demographic.

We pray against the enemies:
  • Efforts to prevent former singles and young adults from serving in singles ministry.
  • The goal is to make singles and young adults feel that they can only have married leaders to lead them.

SOCIAL MEDIA MINISTRIES
Note: These ministries are established, built, and maintained solely through social media. 
We pray for:
  • Support from our churches, pastors, leaders, and teachers, including single and young adults.
  • Financial provision to pray for the platforms.
  • Spiritual protection and covering due to not being under a specific church or ministry.
  • The development of newly trained leaders to ensure low burnout of existing leaders.
    ​
  • We pray against the enemies:
  • Attacks to ban, delete, or remove these ministries from social media.
  • Placement of individuals who display toxic behavior, who would use these platforms to harm singles and/or the church.
  • Lies and gossip that use social media to twist the truth and harm vulnerable young people.

IN CLOSING
We pray for:
  • Wisdom in knowing what our part should be.
  • Guidance in determining how we can be part of the solution.
  • Hearts are ready and prepared to take the next steps.
From Kris Swiatocho, Director:
For years people have asked me what has happened to singles ministries in our churches. Why does it seem the church and the pastors have forgotten single adults? Well, there are many reasons for their questions, but the bottom line, it's spiritual warfare.  So please make a commitment to pray through these points, personally, in a group, send to your pastor and leaders. Thank you!
​>>Read More About Kris
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Phil 4:6