Articles by Kris Swiatocho, Director The Singles Network Ministries

Articles by Kris Swiatocho, Director

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Real Change: Becoming More Like Christ

by Kris Swiatocho, The Singles Network Ministries Director

As believers in Christ, we are always in a continual process of change—becoming more like Him. Some of us pursue this growth with great intentionality, while others may find themselves complacent or uncertain about what to do next. But one thing is clear: real change is essential. It strengthens our faith, matures the body of Christ, and fulfills God’s purposes in and through us.

Ephesians 4:14–16
“Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different... Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church.”

1. Real Change Requires Acknowledgment
Change begins with honesty. We cannot change what we refuse to acknowledge. Until we recognize that something within us needs to be transformed, we’ll stay stuck in old patterns. When we humble ourselves before God and face the truth, we open the door for growth.

Acknowledging our need for change:

Strengthens our faith
Builds courage
Breathes new life and direction into us
Teaches us humility and wisdom
Helps us grow to reflect Christ more fully

2. Real Change Requires Release
In order to change, we must let go, releasing control and trusting God with what we cannot fix ourselves.

Genesis 12:1
“The LORD said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your people, and your father’s household, and go to the land I will show you.’”

What might God be asking you to release?

Fear of failure or the unknown
Emotional pain or past wounds
The comfort of what feels familiar
Crutches or excuses that hold us back
The influence of others who resist your growth

True release happens when we open our clenched fists and surrender everything—relationships, habits, and even dreams—to God’s greater plan.

3. Real Change Transforms Us
When we surrender, the Holy Spirit begins His transforming work—changing us from the inside out.

2 Corinthians 3:17–18
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom... we are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory.”

Transformation produces visible fruit:

We grow personally, spiritually, and emotionally.
We become examples of Christ’s love to others.
We align our lives with God’s purpose.

Proverbs 19:21 reminds us: “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”

4. Real Change Requires Baby Steps
In our “microwave” culture, we often want instant results—but God usually grows us through process, not speed. Small, consistent steps of obedience create lasting change.

Baby steps help because they:

Keep failure small and manageable
Allow us to make adjustments
Give us time to process what God is doing
Help us stay strategic and intentional
Let us appreciate the journey

As the saying goes, “You eat an elephant one bite at a time.” Change is no different.

5. Real Change Requires a Real God
God Himself never changes—yet He calls us to.

Malachi 3:6 – “I, the LORD, do not change.”
James 1:17 – “Every good and perfect gift is from above... from the Father who does not change like shifting shadows.”

Because He is unchanging, we can trust His guidance as we step into change.

Pray for direction (Psalm 139:23–24).
Rely on His Spirit for wisdom (John 14:26).
Obey His Word (Matthew 18:3; John 15:5).

Real change begins with a real God who transforms our hearts through His Spirit.

6. Real Change Requires Support
We were never meant to change alone. God uses relationships to shape, challenge, and encourage us.

Proverbs 27:9 – “The pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.”

Romans 1:11–12 – “That you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”

We grow best in community—through prayer partners, Bible studies, accountability groups, and friendships that speak truth in love.

7. Real Change Requires Courage
Change can be risky—it pushes us beyond what is safe and familiar. Yet spiritual growth always involves courage and perseverance.

Hebrews 12:1–3 reminds us to “throw off everything that hinders” and “run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

God may prune areas of our lives that no longer serve His purpose, but every cut brings new fruit. As we walk by the Spirit, patience, peace, and self-control begin to replace fear and doubt (Galatians 5:22–23).

8. Real Change Requires Action
Faith without action is just intention. Once we hear God’s call to change, we must take practical steps:
1.     Spend time with God for direction.
2.     List what needs to change and prioritize.
3.     Take small, doable steps toward growth.
4.     Share your goals with others to hold yourself accountable.
5.     Evaluate progress and adjust as needed.
6.     Celebrate victories and thank God for His faithfulness.

Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Mary Magdalene: A Single Woman of ChangeOne powerful example of transformation is Mary Magdalene.

Mark 16:9–11 tells us that Jesus appeared first to Mary Magdalene, “out of whom He had driven seven demons.”
She was delivered, yet she didn’t return to her old life. Instead, she followed Jesus, served Him, and became one of the first witnesses to His resurrection. That took courage, surrender, support, and faith.

Mary’s story reminds us that change is rarely easy, but it is always worth it. God’s plan for her life—and ours—requires continual transformation through His power, presence, and people.

Final Thought
Real change is not a one-time event—it’s a lifelong journey of becoming more like Christ. It takes acknowledgment, surrender, courage, community, and faith in a God who never changes. When we yield ourselves to His work, we not only grow personally but help the entire body of Christ grow together in love.

© 2025 Kris Swiatocho
www.TheSinglesNetwork.org| www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org | www.LaborDaySingles.org
www.RestorationExperience.org | www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org | www.AllChristianCruises.com

Where are all the men?

by Kris Swiatocho, The Singles Network Ministries Director

In most singles ministries, especially after age 30, there are far more women than men due to factors such as:

Women seeking help sooner
Women are typically more open to counseling
Women returning to church after divorce or loss, and
Women live longer than men

.
While this imbalance creates challenges, we deeply value men in our ministries for their perspectives, friendships, and leadership. To draw more men, we must:

Pray daily and intentionally for them, recognizing the enemy’s desire to destroy their identity and calling.
We should affirm and encourage men, showing them that they are needed, giving them opportunities to serve, and valuing their contributions beyond physical tasks.
We must invest in multiplying men through mentoring, discipleship, and shared experiences that speak to their interests while connecting them with other men and resources.

Ultimately, building balanced ministries requires prayer, encouragement, and intentional growth so men can step into the roles God has designed for them.

Who is God putting on your heart right now to pray for?

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Ready to Go Deeper?
Order your copy of the Intentional Relationships for Singles 12-week Bible study to learn more.

This comprehensive study covers:
·       Why relationships fail
·       Identity in Christ
·       Gender differences
·       Boundaries & conflict
·       Blind spots
·       Biblical friendship (in all relationships)
·       Intentional Friendship™
·       Red, Yellow, and Green flags
·       Intentional Dating
·       Engagement & preparation for marriage