Articles by Kris Swiatocho, Director The Singles Network Ministries

Articles by Kris Swiatocho, Director

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Am I on the Right Path? Encouragement for Singles in Their 30’s.

by Kris Swiatocho, Director, The Singles Network Ministries

One of the most common questions singles in their 30s ask is:

“Am I on the right path?”

By this stage of life, many people imagined they would already be married, raising children, settled into a career, and living the life they envisioned in their twenties.

Instead, some find themselves facing unexpected turns, unanswered prayers, career changes, broken relationships, or simply wondering why life has not unfolded the way they expected.

It can feel as though everyone else is moving ahead while you remain stuck at the same intersection.

The Danger of Comparison
One of the quickest ways to lose peace is by comparing your journey to someone else's.

The Apostle Paul warns:
“When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” (2 Corinthians 10:12, NIV)

Comparison convinces us that God is doing something for others that He has forgotten to do for us. But God does not write identical stories. His plans, timing, and purposes are unique for every person.

Joseph: A Man Who Seemed Off Course
If anyone appeared to be on the wrong path, it was Joseph.
As a young man, Joseph received dreams from God that pointed toward leadership and influence. Yet shortly afterward, he was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, imprisoned, and forgotten.

Imagine Joseph sitting in prison wondering:

Did I hear God correctly?
Have I missed His will?
Is my life headed anywhere?

Yet years later, Joseph could look back and say:
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20, NIV)

What looked like detours were actually part of God's design.

Your Purpose Is Bigger Than Your Relationship Status
Many singles unknowingly tie their sense of purpose to marriage.

They think:

Once I get married, life will begin.
Once I find the right person, I'll know my purpose.
Once my future becomes clear, I'll feel fulfilled.

But God never intended marriage to define purpose. Jesus was single. Paul was single. Mary, Martha, Lazarus, and more.

Many of God's greatest servants were single during significant seasons of ministry.

Your purpose is not waiting for a spouse. Your purpose is found in walking faithfully with God today.

Jesus said:
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33, NIV)

When You Don't Know What's Next
Sometimes the struggle is not singleness itself. It's uncertainty.

You may not know:

Whether to change careers.
Whether to move.
Whether to pursue a relationship.
Whether you're making the right decisions.

In those moments, God rarely gives us the entire map. Instead, He asks us to trust Him one step at a time.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5–6, NIV)

Notice that God promises direction, not necessarily details.
Questions to Ask Instead:

Rather than asking:
“Am I where I thought I would be?”
Try asking:

Am I growing closer to Christ?
Am I being faithful with what God has given me today?
Am I serving others?
Am I becoming the person God created me to be?

Success in God's Kingdom is measured by faithfulness, not timelines.

Your Story Isn't Finished
If you're in your 30s and wondering whether you're on the right path, remember this:

God is not limited by your age. He is not worried by your timeline. He is not surprised by your circumstances. The same God who guided Joseph through prison, Moses through the wilderness, and David through years of waiting is guiding you as well.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6, NIV)

You may not see the whole picture today, but God does.
Keep walking. Keep trusting. Keep serving.
And remember: what feels like a detour may actually be the road God is using to lead you exactly where He wants you to be.

© 2026 Kris Swiatocho Ministries; www.TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries; www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org

Are The Into You or Just Being Nice? Let's Settle This

by Kris Swiatocho, Director, The Singles Network Ministries

Recently, while traveling, singles have asked me over and over, “How do you know when a guy or girl is interested in you?” While I often talk about the value of friendship, Intentional Friendship™, and intentional dating, many people still struggle to recognize the basic signals—those early signs that someone is interested enough to even start a conversation that could grow into something more.

Trying to figure out if someone likes you can feel confusing, especially in today’s dating world, where signals are often mixed. But while every person is different, there are consistent patterns that reveal genuine interest. When you know what to look for, it becomes much easier to tell the difference between simple politeness and real attraction—and to recognize when a connection might be worth pursuing.

• They Make an Effort to Spend Time With You
Interest shows up in intentional time.

If someone is consistently finding ways to be around you—initiating plans, extending conversations, or simply choosing to be present—that’s a strong indicator of interest. It often shows up in natural, low-pressure ways, like turning a shared interest into an opportunity to spend more time together: “So, you like to bike too? Let’s plan a bike ride this weekend and get others.”

“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” — 1 John 3:18

Real interest is shown, not just said.

• They Initiate Communication and Include Details
It’s not just about how much you talk—it’s about who starts it.

If they’re reaching out first, checking in, or making an effort to stay connected, it’s a clear sign that you matter to them. Often, it’s not just that they connect, but how they do it. They remember the details you’ve shared and follow up in meaningful ways—“How was your work trip?” or “How is your mom doing? You mentioned she was in the hospital.” That kind of attentiveness shows they were truly listening, and it naturally makes you feel seen and valued.

“Encourage one another and build each other up.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Someone who is interested invests in connection, not silence.

• Their Body Language Speaks Clearly
Nonverbal cues are often more honest than words.

Eye contact, warmth, presence, smiling, even a gentle touch on the forearm—these subtle cues often reveal genuine interest. I also pay attention to proximity. Personal space—roughly the distance from your body to the length of your arm—can say a lot. When someone comfortably steps into that space, or when you move a little closer and they don’t pull away, it’s often a strong indication of mutual interest. On the other hand, if there’s a noticeable step back or a need to create distance, it can signal that the interest isn’t quite there—at least not yet.

“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.” — Proverbs 15:30
What’s in the heart often shows on the face.

• They Show Curiosity About Your Life
Interest goes deeper than surface conversation.

They want to know your story—your values, your direction—not just pass the time. You’ll notice they ask open-ended questions, creating space for real conversation rather than surface-level small talk. There’s a natural back-and-forth, where the “ball” moves easily between you. They’re not only gathering information about you, but also inviting you to be curious about them. It becomes a mutual exchange, where both people are leaning in, interested in truly getting to know each other.

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:4

Genuine interest seeks to understand, not just impress.

• They Find Small Ways to Connect
Not everything is big or dramatic.

Often, it’s the small, thoughtful moments that reveal the most. They’ll ask if you’re going to a singles gathering or event, seek you out at church, or position themselves to sit next to you. They might ask if you’re on social media and suggest connecting there. These are simple but meaningful ways of showing a sincere and healthy effort to build a connection with you.

That said, there’s a difference between intentionality and overstepping—if it ever starts to feel more like pressure than respect, or crosses into discomfort, trust that instinct. Genuine interest should feel safe and mutual… not like something you need to run from.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” — Luke 16:10

Small, consistent actions often reveal a sincere heart.

• They Include You in Their World
When someone is interested, they open up their life to you.

They begin to bring you into their circle—their experiences, their friendships, and their personal world. As that happens, trust starts to build, and communication naturally goes deeper. When the interest is mutual, this can be a great time to discuss becoming intentional friends, as described in Chapter 10 of our study.

This is the space between generic friendship and dating—a place where both people agree to be purposeful about getting to know each other more deeply. It means asking meaningful questions (we even included 650 in the back of our workbook), ranging from lighthearted topics like your favorite ice cream flavor to deeper conversations about your spiritual story, beliefs on marriage, finances, and even politics.

The interest is already there—now it becomes about discovering compatibility and whether there’s alignment in values, a sense of being equally yoked, and a foundation worth building on.

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls, one can help the other up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

Connection naturally moves toward shared life.

• They Respect Your Boundaries
This is one of the clearest signs of healthy interest.

They don’t pressure, rush, or manipulate—they honor your values and respect your pace. They understand the importance of defining the relationship (DTR) and are willing to be open, honest, and communicate clearly. At times, one person’s interest may be stronger than the other’s, so it’s important to extend grace, ask good questions, and discern together the right pace—one that aligns with your faith and values.

Don’t immediately assume hesitation is rejection. Often, it’s simply a reflection of where someone is and how thoughtfully they want to move forward. If this has the potential to be “the one,” then going slowly—praying, building a deep foundation of friendship, and inviting accountability—will only strengthen what you’re building. And if you discover you’re not aligned in some way, you can step back into a genuine friendship without unnecessary hurt or pressure.

“Love is patient, love is kind… it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4–5

Real love respects—it doesn’t push.

• Their Actions Match Their Words
Consistency matters more than charm.

They follow through, show up, and remain steady over time. They don’t play games, leave you guessing, or create confusion about how they feel. They don’t disappear (ghosting) or overwhelm you with intensity (love bombing). Instead, their actions consistently align with what they’ve shared about themselves and their level of interest.

If you’re often left wondering after a phone call, text, or time together—questioning where you stand—it’s a sign that clarity is needed. At that point, it’s worth having an honest, sometimes difficult conversation before moving forward.

“Suppose one of you says… ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing… what good is it?”— James 2:15–17

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33

When something is right, it often brings clarity—not chaos.

Final Thought
Attraction doesn’t have to be complicated. While no single sign guarantees someone’s feelings, a consistent pattern of effort, attention, and respect is hard to fake.

If you’re unsure, don’t just listen to what they say—watch what they do over time.

“By their fruit you will recognize them.” — Matthew 7:16
Because real interest doesn’t hide—it shows up (and so does pursuit).

Order your copy of Intentional Relationships for Singles' 12-week Bible study (Workbook) to learn more. This study covers topics on why our relationships fail, identity, gender differences, boundaries, conflict, blind spots, friendship (in all our relationships—family, work, church, neighbors, friends), but also intentional friendship, including red, yellow, and green flags, intentional dating, and engagement.
© 2026 Kris Swiatocho Ministries; www.TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries; www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org