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Winning Women: Becoming the Woman God Called You To Be
by Kris Swiatocho, Director
Note: This article was based on the teaching for the "Winning Women" conference in Sittingbourne, UK, June, 2026
When you hear the phrase winning woman, what comes to mind? Perhaps you picture a beauty queen, a successful business executive, an influencer with thousands of followers, or someone who seems to have the perfect marriage, family, and career. From the time we are little girls, the world begins shaping our definition of success. Many of us grew up playing with Barbie dolls—always beautiful, perfectly dressed, and impossibly thin—or watching Disney princesses who eventually found their "happily ever after." Without even realizing it, we learned that beauty, popularity, and romance were the goals to pursue.
But God has a completely different definition of what it means to be a winning woman.
A winning woman isn't defined by whether she's married or single, rich or poor, young or old, thin or overweight, successful or unnoticed. A winning woman is someone who knows Jesus Christ, walks faithfully with Him, and leaves a legacy that points others to the Lord.
When I think of a winning woman, my mind immediately goes to my maternal grandmother. By the world's standards, she wasn't extraordinary. She wasn't wealthy, famous, highly educated, or influential. She married a widower with seven children, and together they had five more. They lived in poverty for years, without running water or electricity until after their tenth child—my mother—was grown. She worked endless hours farming land that wasn't even hers, cooking, cleaning, raising children, and working as a nursing assistant to help provide for the family.
Yet what I remember most isn't how hard she worked—it's that I never heard her complain.
Later in life, she came to live with our family, giving me the opportunity to spend even more time with her. One day I asked how she had endured so many hardships without becoming bitter. Her answer was simple: "It was Jesus." Her faith carried her through every difficult season.
She was one of the greatest women I've ever known.
Perhaps someone has already come to your mind as you've been reading this. Maybe it's your mother, grandmother, a Sunday school teacher, mentor, friend, or another godly woman whose life quietly reflected Christ. Chances are, what made her memorable had very little to do with worldly success and everything to do with her faith.
The Bible is filled with women just like that. Mary, the mother of Jesus; Ruth; Esther; Deborah; the Samaritan woman; and Mary Magdalene all lived very different lives. None were perfect. Each faced disappointments, fears, and hardships. Yet each became a winning woman because she trusted God and chose obedience over comfort.
So what does that kind of life look like today?
Winning Women Know Who They Are
One of Satan's greatest attacks has always been against our identity. If he can convince us that we aren't enough, aren't lovable, aren't valuable, or somehow don't matter, we'll spend our lives chasing approval instead of walking confidently with Christ.
The world constantly tells women that our worth comes from our appearance, our relationships, our accomplishments, or others' opinions. But God says something entirely different.
Ephesians 1 reminds us that before the foundation of the world, God chose us, loved us, adopted us into His family, and made us His own through Jesus Christ. Think about that for a moment. The Creator of the universe chose you—not because you earned it, but because of His incredible love.
Ephesians 1:4-5 “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.”
Your identity cannot rest in your children, your marriage, your singleness, your career, your ministry, or your accomplishments because all of those things can change. Our identity must remain rooted in the One who never changes.
When we truly understand who we are in Christ, everything else begins to fall into place.
Winning Women Refuse to Let Their Past Define Them
One of my favorite biblical examples is the Samaritan woman in John 4. She had experienced broken relationships, rejection, shame, and isolation. Most people avoided her, yet Jesus intentionally sought her out.
Instead of condemning her, He offered her grace.
Instead of reminding her of her failures, He gave her hope.
Her painful past became the very testimony God used to transform an entire community.
The same is true for us.
Perhaps your story includes divorce, abuse, rejection, addiction, poor choices, or seasons of failure. The enemy wants you to believe those chapters define you forever. Jesus says otherwise.
God is a God of redemption. He doesn't waste our pain. Often, the places where we've experienced the deepest hurt become the places where we're able to minister most effectively to others. Your testimony may be exactly what someone else needs to hear in order to find hope.
Don't allow shame to silence you. Allow God to redeem your story and use it for His glory.
Winning Women Build Healthy Relationships
Winning women understand that life was never meant to be lived alone. In fact, isolation is one of the enemy's greatest weapons because we're often most vulnerable when we're disconnected from other believers. It's during those lonely seasons that we're more likely to become discouraged, drift spiritually, or make decisions we later regret.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” reminds us that two are better than one because when one falls, the other can help them up. I've often said, "Show me your closest relationships, and I'll show you your future."
Throughout Scripture, we see three kinds of relationships every believer needs. We all need a Paul—someone who is a little farther down the road spiritually and can mentor, encourage, and lovingly speak truth into our lives. We need Barnabas—friends who walk beside us, celebrate our victories, pray through our struggles, and lovingly hold us accountable. And we need a Timothy—someone we're intentionally investing in and encouraging to grow in their own faith.
Healthy relationships don't happen by accident. They require intentionality, humility, forgiveness, and time. But they become one of God's greatest gifts as we walk through life together.
Winning Women Trust God Even When Life Doesn't Make Sense
Life rarely unfolds according to our plans. We ask questions like, "Why am I still single?" "Why is my marriage struggling?" "Why did my child walk away from the Lord?" "Why did I lose my job?" "Why did I get cancer?" "Why hasn't God answered my prayers?"
Winning women don't always have the answers.
They simply continue trusting the One who does.
Faith isn't about having every question answered. It's choosing to believe in God's character even when we don't understand His plan. Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight,” reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not lean on our own understanding. Sometimes God is doing His greatest work behind the scenes while we're wondering why nothing seems to be happening. His timing is always perfect, even when it doesn't feel that way.
Winning Women Leave a Legacy
When we hear the word "legacy," we often think of famous people, large ministries, books, or impressive accomplishments. But God's definition of legacy is much simpler.
Legacy is found in faithfully loving people every day.
It's encouraging one hurting woman. Discipling one young believer. Praying for your children and grandchildren. Serving quietly when no one notices. Sharing your testimony. Extending forgiveness. Loving your neighbor well.
Mary Magdalene is remembered not because she held a position of influence, but because she faithfully followed Jesus and became one of the first witnesses to His resurrection. Her love for Christ became her legacy.
Psalm 78:4 “We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power, and the wonders He has done.” reminds us to tell the next generation about the goodness, power, and faithfulness of God.
Every one of us is leaving a legacy.
The only question is, what will remain because you lived?
As you think about your own life, ask yourself: Where am I finding my worth? Is there a part of my past that still controls me? Who is pouring into my life? Who am I investing in? What kind of legacy am I building today?
The wonderful news is that becoming a winning woman isn't about trying harder. It's about surrendering more completely to Jesus Christ each day. As we humble ourselves before Him, He shapes us into the women He created us to be.
James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for reminding me that my worth is found in You alone. Help me to see myself as You see me—chosen, loved, forgiven, and deeply treasured. Heal the places in my heart where my past still tries to define me, and give me the courage to trust that You can redeem every part of my story for Your glory.
Surround me with godly friendships that will encourage me to grow, and show me who You want me to encourage in return. When life doesn't make sense, strengthen my faith to trust You even when I cannot see what You're doing. May my life reflect Your love in such a way that I leave a legacy of faith, kindness, and hope for those who come behind me.
Help me become the woman You created me to be—not by striving harder, but by surrendering more fully to Jesus each day.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
For more info on Kris Swiatocho:
www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org
www.TheSinglesNetwork.org
www.RestorationExperience.org
www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org
www.LaborDaySingles.org
When you hear the phrase winning woman, what comes to mind? Perhaps you picture a beauty queen, a successful business executive, an influencer with thousands of followers, or someone who seems to have the perfect marriage, family, and career. From the time we are little girls, the world begins shaping our definition of success. Many of us grew up playing with Barbie dolls—always beautiful, perfectly dressed, and impossibly thin—or watching Disney princesses who eventually found their "happily ever after." Without even realizing it, we learned that beauty, popularity, and romance were the goals to pursue.
But God has a completely different definition of what it means to be a winning woman.
A winning woman isn't defined by whether she's married or single, rich or poor, young or old, thin or overweight, successful or unnoticed. A winning woman is someone who knows Jesus Christ, walks faithfully with Him, and leaves a legacy that points others to the Lord.
When I think of a winning woman, my mind immediately goes to my maternal grandmother. By the world's standards, she wasn't extraordinary. She wasn't wealthy, famous, highly educated, or influential. She married a widower with seven children, and together they had five more. They lived in poverty for years, without running water or electricity until after their tenth child—my mother—was grown. She worked endless hours farming land that wasn't even hers, cooking, cleaning, raising children, and working as a nursing assistant to help provide for the family.
Yet what I remember most isn't how hard she worked—it's that I never heard her complain.
Later in life, she came to live with our family, giving me the opportunity to spend even more time with her. One day I asked how she had endured so many hardships without becoming bitter. Her answer was simple: "It was Jesus." Her faith carried her through every difficult season.
She was one of the greatest women I've ever known.
Perhaps someone has already come to your mind as you've been reading this. Maybe it's your mother, grandmother, a Sunday school teacher, mentor, friend, or another godly woman whose life quietly reflected Christ. Chances are, what made her memorable had very little to do with worldly success and everything to do with her faith.
The Bible is filled with women just like that. Mary, the mother of Jesus; Ruth; Esther; Deborah; the Samaritan woman; and Mary Magdalene all lived very different lives. None were perfect. Each faced disappointments, fears, and hardships. Yet each became a winning woman because she trusted God and chose obedience over comfort.
So what does that kind of life look like today?
Winning Women Know Who They Are
One of Satan's greatest attacks has always been against our identity. If he can convince us that we aren't enough, aren't lovable, aren't valuable, or somehow don't matter, we'll spend our lives chasing approval instead of walking confidently with Christ.
The world constantly tells women that our worth comes from our appearance, our relationships, our accomplishments, or others' opinions. But God says something entirely different.
Ephesians 1 reminds us that before the foundation of the world, God chose us, loved us, adopted us into His family, and made us His own through Jesus Christ. Think about that for a moment. The Creator of the universe chose you—not because you earned it, but because of His incredible love.
Ephesians 1:4-5 “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.”
Your identity cannot rest in your children, your marriage, your singleness, your career, your ministry, or your accomplishments because all of those things can change. Our identity must remain rooted in the One who never changes.
When we truly understand who we are in Christ, everything else begins to fall into place.
Winning Women Refuse to Let Their Past Define Them
One of my favorite biblical examples is the Samaritan woman in John 4. She had experienced broken relationships, rejection, shame, and isolation. Most people avoided her, yet Jesus intentionally sought her out.
Instead of condemning her, He offered her grace.
Instead of reminding her of her failures, He gave her hope.
Her painful past became the very testimony God used to transform an entire community.
The same is true for us.
Perhaps your story includes divorce, abuse, rejection, addiction, poor choices, or seasons of failure. The enemy wants you to believe those chapters define you forever. Jesus says otherwise.
God is a God of redemption. He doesn't waste our pain. Often, the places where we've experienced the deepest hurt become the places where we're able to minister most effectively to others. Your testimony may be exactly what someone else needs to hear in order to find hope.
Don't allow shame to silence you. Allow God to redeem your story and use it for His glory.
Winning Women Build Healthy Relationships
Winning women understand that life was never meant to be lived alone. In fact, isolation is one of the enemy's greatest weapons because we're often most vulnerable when we're disconnected from other believers. It's during those lonely seasons that we're more likely to become discouraged, drift spiritually, or make decisions we later regret.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” reminds us that two are better than one because when one falls, the other can help them up. I've often said, "Show me your closest relationships, and I'll show you your future."
Throughout Scripture, we see three kinds of relationships every believer needs. We all need a Paul—someone who is a little farther down the road spiritually and can mentor, encourage, and lovingly speak truth into our lives. We need Barnabas—friends who walk beside us, celebrate our victories, pray through our struggles, and lovingly hold us accountable. And we need a Timothy—someone we're intentionally investing in and encouraging to grow in their own faith.
Healthy relationships don't happen by accident. They require intentionality, humility, forgiveness, and time. But they become one of God's greatest gifts as we walk through life together.
Winning Women Trust God Even When Life Doesn't Make Sense
Life rarely unfolds according to our plans. We ask questions like, "Why am I still single?" "Why is my marriage struggling?" "Why did my child walk away from the Lord?" "Why did I lose my job?" "Why did I get cancer?" "Why hasn't God answered my prayers?"
Winning women don't always have the answers.
They simply continue trusting the One who does.
Faith isn't about having every question answered. It's choosing to believe in God's character even when we don't understand His plan. Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight,” reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not lean on our own understanding. Sometimes God is doing His greatest work behind the scenes while we're wondering why nothing seems to be happening. His timing is always perfect, even when it doesn't feel that way.
Winning Women Leave a Legacy
When we hear the word "legacy," we often think of famous people, large ministries, books, or impressive accomplishments. But God's definition of legacy is much simpler.
Legacy is found in faithfully loving people every day.
It's encouraging one hurting woman. Discipling one young believer. Praying for your children and grandchildren. Serving quietly when no one notices. Sharing your testimony. Extending forgiveness. Loving your neighbor well.
Mary Magdalene is remembered not because she held a position of influence, but because she faithfully followed Jesus and became one of the first witnesses to His resurrection. Her love for Christ became her legacy.
Psalm 78:4 “We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power, and the wonders He has done.” reminds us to tell the next generation about the goodness, power, and faithfulness of God.
Every one of us is leaving a legacy.
The only question is, what will remain because you lived?
As you think about your own life, ask yourself: Where am I finding my worth? Is there a part of my past that still controls me? Who is pouring into my life? Who am I investing in? What kind of legacy am I building today?
The wonderful news is that becoming a winning woman isn't about trying harder. It's about surrendering more completely to Jesus Christ each day. As we humble ourselves before Him, He shapes us into the women He created us to be.
James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for reminding me that my worth is found in You alone. Help me to see myself as You see me—chosen, loved, forgiven, and deeply treasured. Heal the places in my heart where my past still tries to define me, and give me the courage to trust that You can redeem every part of my story for Your glory.
Surround me with godly friendships that will encourage me to grow, and show me who You want me to encourage in return. When life doesn't make sense, strengthen my faith to trust You even when I cannot see what You're doing. May my life reflect Your love in such a way that I leave a legacy of faith, kindness, and hope for those who come behind me.
Help me become the woman You created me to be—not by striving harder, but by surrendering more fully to Jesus each day.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
For more info on Kris Swiatocho:
www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org
www.TheSinglesNetwork.org
www.RestorationExperience.org
www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org
www.LaborDaySingles.org
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Brenda Senter
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Connecting with Kris Swiatocho and her ministry gave me greater understanding on ministry to singles and how to equip a team of leaders. We had a good singles ministry but when she spent time in leadership training with my community group leaders and my leadership team, our ministry grew in depth, vision, and had men step up to lead. Her time training our team was invaluable to our ministry being effective to reach singles. |
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