Articles: Building your Singles Ministry by Kris Swiatocho, Director

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Ten Leadership Principles Every Ministry Leader Should Practice

Inspired by the leadership teachings of John C. Maxwell, by Kris Swiatocho, www.TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries
Leadership is not simply about accomplishing a task or filling a position. It is about influencing people, developing others, and creating an environment where individuals can grow into who God has called them to be. Whether you lead a church, singles ministry, small group, nonprofit, or business, these principles will help strengthen both your leadership and your team.

1. Great leaders focus on developing others, not promoting themselves.
Leadership is never about personal recognition. The best leaders celebrate others' success, invest in their growth, and find joy in seeing them flourish.
"Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant." — Matthew 20:26
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2. Leadership is measured by how many people you empower.
The goal is not to have everyone depend on you but to help others discover their gifts, gain confidence, and step into leadership themselves. Healthy leaders multiply leaders.

3. Leadership is influence demonstrated through action.
A title may give someone authority, but it does not automatically earn respect. Leadership is demonstrated daily through integrity, consistency, humility, and service.

4. People thrive where they feel valued and cared for.
Every person wants to know they matter. When people feel seen, appreciated, included, encouraged, and trusted, they become more committed to the mission and to one another.

5. Trust is the foundation of every healthy team.
Trust is built over time through honesty, consistency, and keeping your word. Strong relationships become a refuge during challenges and a launching pad during seasons of growth.

6. Lead with both grace and truth.
Healthy leaders care deeply about people and are willing to have honest conversations. Compassion without accountability creates confusion. Accountability without compassion creates discouragement. Effective leaders practice both.
"Speaking the truth in love..." — Ephesians 4:15

7. People follow leaders before they embrace the vision.
Vision matters, but people first need confidence in the person leading them. Character, humility, and credibility often determine whether others will embrace the mission.

8. Bringing out the best in individuals strengthens the entire team.
Every person has unique gifts and abilities. Great leaders intentionally discover those strengths, encourage them, and place people where they can best serve. As individuals grow, the entire ministry grows stronger.

9. Growth requires faith, courage, and a willingness to learn.
Leadership always involves taking risks. Mistakes are inevitable, but they often become our greatest teachers. Healthy leaders create environments where people are free to learn, grow, and improve without fear of failure.

10. Your greatest leadership legacy is the leaders you leave behind.
One day someone else will lead the ministry you are building today. Success is not measured by how indispensable you become but by how prepared others are to continue the mission after you. The strongest leaders intentionally invest in the next generation of leaders.
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Remember: Leadership is not about having all the answers. It is about faithfully following Christ, serving others well, and helping people discover the gifts God has placed within them. The greatest compliment a leader can receive is not "We couldn't have done it without you" but "Because you believed in us, we learned how to lead others."As you invest in people, remember that leadership is not simply about growing a ministry—it is about growing disciples who will, in turn, disciple others.

Bring Kris to your city to speak in person or by Zoom at your next event. Call her at 919.434.3611.
©2026 www.TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries •  www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org • www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org

Who Is Reaching the Next Generation Coming Behind Us?

By Kris Swiatocho, Director, The Singles Network Ministries

"One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts." — Psalm 145:4 (NIV)

For more than three decades, God has allowed me the incredible privilege of serving singles across the United States and around the world. During that time, I have watched thousands of lives transformed by the power of Christ. I've witnessed people surrender their lives to Jesus, discover their purpose, heal from deep wounds, develop lifelong friendships, step into ministry, and yes, even walk down the aisle to begin Christ-centered marriages. Every one of those moments reminds me why I continue doing what God called me to do.

Yet alongside those victories is a burden that has grown heavier with each passing year. It is a burden for the generation coming behind me.

As I look across our churches today, I can't help but ask a question that refuses to leave my heart:

Who is intentionally reaching singles in their 30s and 40s?
Many churches do an outstanding job ministering to college students and young adults. Some churches have thriving ministries that reach singles through their twenties, sometimes up to age twenty-nine. They create community, offer Bible studies, organize events, and help young adults grow in their faith.

Then something strange happens.

The ministry ends.

For many single adults, turning thirty feels less like entering a new season of life and more like aging out of the only place they truly belonged. Suddenly they are too old for young adults but don't fit anywhere else. No one intentionally disciples them. No one invites them into meaningful community. No one helps them navigate the unique questions and challenges of this next stage of life.

Years later, we often see these same individuals again—but under heartbreaking circumstances. They're navigating divorce. They're grieving the loss of a spouse. They're overwhelmed as single parents. They're carrying years of loneliness, disappointment, unhealthy relationships, financial pressures, or spiritual discouragement. We find ourselves trying to help rebuild lives that may have looked very different if someone had walked alongside them during those critical years.

I often wonder what might have happened if the Church had continued investing in them before the crisis, rather than waiting until afterward.

Scripture reminds us that the Church is called to "prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up" (Ephesians 4:12). Preparation is proactive, not reactive. We shouldn't wait until people are hurting before we begin discipling them.

The truth is, the thirties and forties are some of the most significant years of adult life. These are the years when people are making major career decisions, considering marriage, navigating dating relationships, caring for aging parents, purchasing homes, wrestling with loneliness, asking difficult questions about purpose, and wondering what God's plan looks like if marriage hasn't happened yet. These are not "waiting years." They are years of growth, influence, leadership, and spiritual formation.

Too often, however, churches unintentionally communicate that ministry opportunities are available primarily to students, young adults, married couples, and families with children. If someone remains single beyond their twenties, they can begin to feel invisible. While that is rarely anyone's intention, it is often the reality many singles experience.

One of the greatest misconceptions I encounter is the idea that a singles ministry should simply include everyone who isn't married. Imagine placing every married couple—from newlyweds in their twenties to retired empty nesters in their seventies—into a single marriage class and expecting everyone to relate equally. We would never do that because we understand that life stages matter.

The same principle applies to singles ministry.

An eighteen-year-old beginning college has different needs than a thirty-five-year-old professional. A forty-two-year-old hoping to marry one day is walking through different experiences than a sixty-year-old widow discovering life on her own again. While everyone benefits from worshipping together, discipleship is often most effective when people share similar seasons of life.

Although every church is unique, I believe we should begin thinking intentionally about life-stage ministry rather than simply age-based ministry. Perhaps that means developing groups for ages 18–22, twenty-somethings, those in their thirties and forties, adults in their mid-forties through mid-fifties, and later seasons of life. The exact ages matter less than recognizing that every season brings different opportunities, struggles, and questions that deserve intentional care.

My heart today is not simply to continue leading singles ministry myself.

My greatest passion is to raise up those who will come after me.

Paul told Timothy, "And the things you have heard me say...entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others" (2 Timothy 2:2). That verse has become deeply personal to me. Ministry was never intended to stop with one generation. Mature believers are called to invest in those who will continue the work long after we are gone.

That is why I want to mentor younger leaders. I want to share what God has taught me over the past thirty-plus years. I want to encourage, equip, train, and walk beside men and women who have a heart for singles. Whether their church currently has a singles ministry or not, I want them to be prepared for the day God opens that door.

Why?

Because I meet these younger adults everywhere I travel.

They're hungry.

They're searching.

They're asking hard questions.

They long for authentic friendships.

Most still hope to marry one day.

They sincerely desire to honor God, but many don't know where to turn for biblical guidance regarding relationships, purpose, contentment, or community.

They are looking for someone willing to invest in them.

Unfortunately, in my experience with churches across the country, too many find very little.

My concern extends beyond singles themselves because every healthy marriage begins with two healthy single adults. If we neglect singles today, we shouldn't be surprised when marriages struggle tomorrow. If we fail to disciple people before marriage, we will inevitably spend far more time repairing broken marriages later.

Strong families begin with spiritually healthy individuals.

Strong churches begin with spiritually healthy individuals.

Future husbands and wives are today's single adults.

The enemy understands that. Scripture tells us that "your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). He delights in isolation, discouragement, confusion, temptation, and hopelessness. If he can convince singles that they have been forgotten, disconnected, or overlooked, then future marriages, families, churches, and even generations will feel the impact.

But I refuse to believe the enemy wins.

Jesus declared, "I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it" (Matthew 16:18). Because of that promise, I can confidently say, "Get behind me, Satan."

God is still calling people to Himself.

He is still writing beautiful stories.

He is still preparing future husbands and wives.

He is still raising up leaders.

He is still building His Church.

And He is still looking for people who are willing to invest in the next generation before it is too late.
So today, I want to ask you to join me in prayer.

Pray for the young and single adults quietly navigating life without the support they desperately need. Pray that they will find godly friendships, wise mentors, and churches that embrace them rather than overlook them. Pray that pastors and church leaders will recognize that singles ministry is not an optional ministry but an essential investment in the future health of the Church.

Pray that churches will begin seeing singles not as people waiting for life to begin but as valuable members of the Body of Christ who are called, gifted, and ready to serve today. Pray that more leaders will have the courage to launch ministries that intentionally disciple singles during every season of adulthood rather than only after life has fallen apart.

And finally, pray that God will raise up a new generation of leaders—men and women who love Jesus, love people, and have a passion to reach the generation coming behind them.

That is where my heart is today.

I know I cannot reach everyone on my own, but I can invest in those who will continue the work. If Psalm 145:4 teaches us that one generation is to declare God's works to the next, then that calling belongs to every one of us. We cannot afford to leave an entire generation standing between young adult ministry and marriage ministry with nowhere to belong.

The harvest is still plentiful (Matthew 9:37-38).

The workers are still too few.

And perhaps God is asking you the same question He has been asking me:

What will you do to reach the generation coming behind you?
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©2026 TheSinglesNetwork.org • www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org • www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org

Leadership Articles and Resources

Additional resources by Kris and other authors: click here.

Leaders That Last Curriculum

• Leaders that Last is 6 weeks, 6 topics. Curriculum: 
The first 3 weeks are inward-focused towards personal development, and the last 3 weeks are outward-focused towards building and unifying the team.

• Leaders That Last Curriculum includes:
 A trainer's guide with additional questions, icebreaker ideas, small group discussion, and weekly assignments, etc., plus participants' outline.

• Leaders That Last Curriculum is a:
Microsoft Word document so you can alter to fit your specific group, whether young adult, single adult, or single parent, divorced or widowed.

WEEKLY TOPICS:
Week 1: Who You Are in Christ
Week 2: Affirming Your Calling as a Leader
Week 3: Spiritual Warfare
Week 4: Mentoring/Finding others with a Similar Calling
Week 5: Building the Team
Week 6: Caring for the Team.

Week 1: Who Am I?
Description: Everything starts and ends with a great team, but a team starts with a great leader. A great leader should know who they are in Christ first in order to lead others. This leader should also have a personal, growing relationship with Christ. This lesson will focus on your identity, your personal growth in your faith, and your walk with the Lord.
 
Week 2: Who Ya Going to Call?
Description: Learning and affirming your calling to be a leader. Most maturing Christians are serving the Lord, but often in the wrong area. This lesson will help you focus on the right area God is calling you into.
 
Week 3: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Description: This lesson focuses on how to recognize the enemy’s attacks on you, your team, and your ministry, and what to do when they do happen.

Week 4: Making Copies!
Description: This lesson focuses on the importance of recognizing potential leaders by starting with those who are voluntold versus volunteers.

Week 5: There’s No “I” in Team
Description: Everything falls and rises on leadership. Without a great team unified in the path to reach the goals God has set, leadership will fail. This lesson will focus on how to build a team that builds the ministry.
 
Week 6: Are You a Care Bear?
Description: This lesson focuses on how to keep our team, our leaders, and, ultimately, our ministry going and growing.

Reaching Singles in Germany

Christian Leadership Styles

COG National Conference, Orlando, Fl

Leadership Snippit

"Kris Swiatocho ministered to our singles group in a mighty way. She shared about her ministry, provided us with great biblical teaching, and provided suggestions on how we can grow our singles ministry. Mixed in were fun games that involved everyone and made the sessions entertaining and informative. She is a great speaker your ministry will want to hear. 
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—Ken Ellis, South Brevard Christian Singles, Melbourne, FL