Articles: Building your Singles Ministry by Kris Swiatocho, Director

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How to Start a Singles Ministry Easy Checklist 

by Kris Swiatocho
So God has called you to start a singles ministry? So, where do you begin? Well, your first step was this website, so congrats, but where to next? 
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1. Watch the free videos where Kris Swiatocho shares on how to start and grow your ministry.  
2. Download a free "How to Start Guide."
3. Order the other free guides from our store, as well as download the free tools on how to grow your singles ministry. 
4. Order the FAQ Book with over 50 leaders and pastors answering over 100 questions on singles ministry. 
5. Once you gather some interested singles and/or potential leaders, we suggest your order our Leaders That Last 6-week course to help grow them.
6. Come to our annual singles and leaders retreat, www.LaborDaySingles.org  or bring Kris Swiatocho, Director of The Singles Network Ministries  to host a leaders or singles conference/retreat in your city.
7. Start a group by starting a Bible study. Favorites are Jesus, Single Like Me (8 weeks), and/or our newest, Intentional Relationships for Singles (12 weeks); both have free intro videos and promo materials to market.
8. Bring Kris live, in person, or by Zoom to your church, city, or ministry. She would love to help you get started and/or grow.

Stand Up and Go To Your Corner

by Kris Swiatocho, Director of The Singles Network Ministries
Living in a Results-Based World
I have worked in singles ministry for most of my adult life, post-college. I have been honored to work with several churches, teaching, leading, guiding, and consulting on every topic imaginable. As I travel, I visit so many churches and simply do not have the time to get to know all the people I am there to help. So, one quick way to help me with this is an exercise I would love to do called "A Continuum."
 
A Continuum is a physical exercise whereby I ask a series of questions, allowing the people to move to different corners of the room where I have posted the words: yes, no, maybe, sometimes, and/or never, etc. You can also put a scale of 1 to 10—and they can stand on the number closest to their answer. (Option: Have people hold up signs or words.)
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In most cases, it's fun and surprising to each other at the answers people give. I am also amazed at people's willingness to be transparent. Continuums can be used as an icebreaker with simple questions, such as "Your favorite place to go is the lake/beach, or do you love chocolate," to more profound questions, such as "I love being single, or how I would spend $1000 extra dollars" to even deeper, "I am not sure if I am saved or I have no idea what I am doing in life." It can expose strengths and weaknesses in your ministry, including those of your leaders.

Recently, I conducted a Continuum at a church with a young adult ministry. This group had the most diversity in backgrounds. I thought it would be interesting to see where they came together on things and where they were apart. My questions started simple, but I quickly got more serious about where they were spiritually. Almost all the answers were on target with where I felt they were until the last two questions. I asked them if they thought God expected a lot from them, and over 80 percent of them walked to the “Yes” poster. Hmmm. Then I asked, “Do you think God is disappointed with you?” again, they stayed at the “Yes” poster. Some of the remaining 20 percent moved over.

Why would so many of them feel this way about their relationship with God? I immediately put this to prayer and some serious thought. I could see the dazed look in their eyes as most struggled with God approving them, approving their choices, lifestyles, work, friends, and desires. I needed more prayer on this subject as well as time to think. I moved on to the lesson I had prepared to teach them, allowing discussion of the topics of pleasing God. Sure, I sometimes let God down. I don't always do what I say I am going to do. I sin. I fall short. But I think these singles were saying that they believe God expects more from them than they can produce. Then it dawned on me. They are making this decision based on a results-focused world.
 
EVERYTHING in our world is based on results. Even with going to church, there is the pressure to get numbers up, tithes up, members joining, etc. Our secular jobs require a certain amount of production, or you're fired. Why would you keep a car salesperson if he didn't sell any cars, a teacher who fails more students than passes them, or a doctor whose patients don't get well? OK, I got it. How do you begin to understand God's grace when every part of our lives is results-oriented? Sure, God does love results, especially if they are due to healthy changes when we let Him make the changes in us.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2, NIV).

Praise the Lord because He loves us so much that He doesn't keep us where He found us. But, get this: if we didn't do anything—nothing—and were the ONLY ONE on this earth, He would have still died for us. He would have still died for us where we are, for the results are from Him—not us. Be obedient and leave the results up to God.

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen (Hebrews 13:20-22, NIV).

Do the best you can with where you are. And when you fail, and you will, it's OK. He is still the same God, Abba Father, and Lord Almighty that made every part of you. His expectation is not our expectation. His expectations are not our bosses’ or pastors’ expectations. He wants us to choose Him and leave the rest up to Him.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  (1 Peter 1:3-5, NIV).

Stand up … are you ready to go to your corner?
 
Kris Swiatocho is in full-time ministry focusing on single adults. She is the author of 7 books, including: Intentional Relationships for Singles. For more information, www.TheSinglesNetwork.org Ministries and/or www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org

Leaders That Last Curriculum

• Leaders that Last is 6 weeks, 6 topics Curriculum: 
The first 3 weeks that are inward focus towards personal development and last 3 weeks that are outward focus towards building and unifying the team.

• Leaders that Last Curriculum includes:
 A trainers guide with additional questions, icebreaker ideas, small group discussion, and weekly assignments, etc. plus participants outline.

• Leaders that Last Curriculum is a:
Microsoft word document so you can alter to fit your specific group whether young adult, single adult or single parent, divorced or widowed.

WEEKLY TOPICS:
Week 1: Who You Are in Christ
Week 2: Affirming Your Calling as a Leader
Week 3: Spiritual Warfare
Week 4: Mentoring/Finding others with a Similar Calling
Week 5: Building the Team
Week 6: Caring for the Team.

Week 1: Who Am I?
Description: Everything starts and ends with a great team but a team starts with a great leader. A great leader should know who they are in Christ first in order to lead others. This leader also should have a personal, growing relationship with Christ. This lesson will focus on your identity, your personal growth in your faith, and your walk with the Lord.
 
Week 2: Who Ya Going to Call?
Description: Learning and affirming your calling to be a leader. Most maturing Christians are serving the Lord but often in the wrong area, this lesson will help you focus on the right area God is calling you into.
 
Week 3: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Description: This lesson focuses on how to recognize the enemy’s attacks on you, your team, and your ministry, and what to do when it does happen.

Week 4: Making Copies!
Description: This lesson focuses on the importance of recognizing potential leaders by starting with those who are voluntold versus volunteers.

Week 5: There’s No “I” in Team
Description: Everything falls and rises on leadership. Without a great team that is unified in the path to reach the goals God has put in place, leadership will fail. This lesson will focus on how to build a team that builds the ministry.
 
Week 6: Are You a Care Bear?
Description: This lesson focuses on how to keep our team, our leaders, and, ultimately, our ministry going and growing.

Christian Leadership Styles

COG National Conference, Orlando, Fl

Leadership Snippit

Leadership Articles by Kris Swiatocho

Additional resources by Kris and other authors, click here. 
Kris holds a singles retreat every September up in the mountains and I’ve attended the last 8 years. The 3rd year, Sept 2017 I came for the leadership portion of the meeting and was inspired by the teaching, many years of experience working with singles, messages shared, stories from other church leaders and resources galore at the meeting and on the website. I left that weekend fired up and it sparked me to start a singles focused bible study at our church which has been running a year now and doing great... I have so many stories I could share... many new visitors/members... connecting with singles in the church that weren’t plugged in.. networking with other Christian groups and churches... things just continue to spiral... we held a singles NYE celebration a few weeks ago. The owner of The Barn Dance (non-alcoholic club) that some of us go to often came. His club was only open on sat night BUT... he was inspired by the number we had at our dance and the amazing community... he had no idea that singles have that much of a need/want to be together. SO tonight he hosted his first Christian Singles Dance Party at The Barn Dance and it was a big hit. Planning to do a monthly dance there.—opening with prayer and ending with praise songs and prayer. I can’t wait to see what God has for us in 2024. Also very excited about this years Singles Retreat! Find info on thesinglesnetwork.org and come join us Thanks Kris for all you do... for your heart for God and singles.
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—Lisa Young, Lawndale Baptist Church, Greensboro, NC