Articles: Building your Singles Ministry by Kris Swiatocho, Director
Jesus...Single Like Me: Leadership by Stewardship
by Kris Swiatocho, Director of The Singles Network Ministries and Kris Swiatocho Ministrie
I grew up with a mom who—at least in my mind—had OCD when it came to cleaning and keeping the house in order. I used to joke with her that when she dies, I’m going to put a bottle of Pine-Sol in one hand and a can of Ajax in the other in her casket (LOL).
As far back as I can remember, I was constantly reminded to keep my room tidy.
“Kristine, Kristine.”
“Yes, Mom.”
“Did you make your bed?”
“Uh… yes.”
“Did you shut all the dresser drawers?”
“Hmmm… yes.”
“Did you hang up your clothes?”
“Yes!”
“Did you—”
“Yes, Mom! I cleaned my room.”
And then she would come behind me and realize that her definition of clean was not the same as mine. She would tuck, smooth, straighten, and fold until everything was perfect in her eyes. There were times I intentionally didn’t clean my room, just to watch her come behind me and do it anyway—because I knew she would.
At the time, I didn’t understand her. Why did everything have to be so neat? Why did every knick-knack have a place? Why did the laundry have to be folded just so? Why did the fork go on the left side? And why—every single year—did we repaint the deck, clean the yard, wash the drapes, and scrub the windows?
What I saw as extreme cleanliness—likely because I struggle with laziness—was actually something much deeper. My mom was being a good steward of what God had given her.
She grew up extremely poor, the tenth of twelve children, working on a farm from before sunrise. She owned only one pair of shoes and wasn’t allowed to wear them in warm weather. She lived in a run-down house with floorboards so broken you could see the ground beneath. There was no indoor plumbing or electricity until she was sixteen. Life was hard.
But one thing stood out to her: their home was clean. Even in poverty, they took care of what they had. They honored what God had given them.
When my mom married and finally had a home of her own, everything felt like a gift. A real bathtub. A bed with no previous owners. Curtain rods—yes, curtain rods. She had grown up hanging curtains with a string. So she treated everything like a treasure. She cleaned, folded, wiped, and polished because she didn’t want to take any of it for granted.
She understood something profound: if you take care of what God gives you, it lasts longer, serves others better, and becomes a platform for ministry. She understood stewardship.
Leadership Through Stewardship
Jesus… Single Like Me gives us a powerful example of stewardship—not just personally, but also as leaders. When we lead in ministry, people are watching how we take care of what God has entrusted to us. Why would anyone follow our guidance if we don’t live what we teach?
One of the most critical components of leadership is stewardship—not only of material things like clothes and cars (which are temporary), but of people, time, gifts, and ministries.
In Matthew 25:14–30, Jesus emphasizes that faithful stewards will be prepared for His return. He tells the story of a master who entrusted his servants with different amounts of wealth and later returned to see what they had done with it:
“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’ His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. Take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. For those who have will be given more, and they will have an abundance. As for those who do not have, even what they have will be taken from them. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’”
Jesus Teaches Me...
1. The Lord entrusts us according to our ability.
God gives us resources, gifts, relationships, and opportunities based on what He knows we can handle. What He gives us today prepares us for greater responsibility tomorrow. It’s not about comparison—it’s about faithfulness with what we already have.
“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey”
(Matt. 25:14–15)
2. The Lord expects us to use what we’ve been given.
If God has revealed your gifts—administration, mercy, teaching, leadership—He expects you to use them now. We often wait for something “bigger,” when God is asking us to be faithful right where we are.
“The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more”
(Matt. 25:16–17)
3. The Lord warns against hoarding leadership and resources.
Leadership isn’t meant to be done alone. When we hoard responsibility instead of training others, we limit growth and ultimately harm the ministry. God owns it all—it’s not about protecting resources, but using them to advance His Kingdom.
“But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money”
(Matt. 25:18)
4. Faithfulness leads to greater responsibility.
God honors faithful leadership. When we steward well, He entrusts us with more—not necessarily more work, but greater influence and deeper impact.
“After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them…”
(Matt. 25:19–23)
5. Good intentions are not enough.
Fear, excuses, and comfort can keep us from obedience. God is not interested in why we didn’t act—He calls us to trust Him fully and use what He has given us.
“Then the man who had received one bag of gold came…”
(Matt. 25:24–25)
6. Ignorance is no excuse.
Leaders are responsible to seek wisdom, training, and growth. God can do more than we imagine—if we are willing to step out in faith.
“His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!’…”
(Matt. 25:26–27)
7. Poor stewardship has consequences.
God takes discipleship seriously. If we refuse to steward what He has entrusted to us, He may give it to someone else who will.
“‘Take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags…’”
(Matt. 25:28–30)
Even now, my mom still loves a clean, tidy house—and that house has hosted countless Bible studies, meals, gatherings, and people in need. Her gifts of hospitality and mercy grew into leadership and discipleship. From money to time, from listening to teaching, she has lived stewardship.
Because to be a good leader, you must first be a good steward.
Hey—I smell Pine-Sol. Is my mom here?
Application
www.TheSinglesNetwork.org| www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org | www.LaborDaySingles.org
www.RestorationExperience.org | www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org | www.AllChristianCruises.com
As far back as I can remember, I was constantly reminded to keep my room tidy.
“Kristine, Kristine.”
“Yes, Mom.”
“Did you make your bed?”
“Uh… yes.”
“Did you shut all the dresser drawers?”
“Hmmm… yes.”
“Did you hang up your clothes?”
“Yes!”
“Did you—”
“Yes, Mom! I cleaned my room.”
And then she would come behind me and realize that her definition of clean was not the same as mine. She would tuck, smooth, straighten, and fold until everything was perfect in her eyes. There were times I intentionally didn’t clean my room, just to watch her come behind me and do it anyway—because I knew she would.
At the time, I didn’t understand her. Why did everything have to be so neat? Why did every knick-knack have a place? Why did the laundry have to be folded just so? Why did the fork go on the left side? And why—every single year—did we repaint the deck, clean the yard, wash the drapes, and scrub the windows?
What I saw as extreme cleanliness—likely because I struggle with laziness—was actually something much deeper. My mom was being a good steward of what God had given her.
She grew up extremely poor, the tenth of twelve children, working on a farm from before sunrise. She owned only one pair of shoes and wasn’t allowed to wear them in warm weather. She lived in a run-down house with floorboards so broken you could see the ground beneath. There was no indoor plumbing or electricity until she was sixteen. Life was hard.
But one thing stood out to her: their home was clean. Even in poverty, they took care of what they had. They honored what God had given them.
When my mom married and finally had a home of her own, everything felt like a gift. A real bathtub. A bed with no previous owners. Curtain rods—yes, curtain rods. She had grown up hanging curtains with a string. So she treated everything like a treasure. She cleaned, folded, wiped, and polished because she didn’t want to take any of it for granted.
She understood something profound: if you take care of what God gives you, it lasts longer, serves others better, and becomes a platform for ministry. She understood stewardship.
Leadership Through Stewardship
Jesus… Single Like Me gives us a powerful example of stewardship—not just personally, but also as leaders. When we lead in ministry, people are watching how we take care of what God has entrusted to us. Why would anyone follow our guidance if we don’t live what we teach?
One of the most critical components of leadership is stewardship—not only of material things like clothes and cars (which are temporary), but of people, time, gifts, and ministries.
In Matthew 25:14–30, Jesus emphasizes that faithful stewards will be prepared for His return. He tells the story of a master who entrusted his servants with different amounts of wealth and later returned to see what they had done with it:
“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’ His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. Take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. For those who have will be given more, and they will have an abundance. As for those who do not have, even what they have will be taken from them. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’”
Jesus Teaches Me...
1. The Lord entrusts us according to our ability.
God gives us resources, gifts, relationships, and opportunities based on what He knows we can handle. What He gives us today prepares us for greater responsibility tomorrow. It’s not about comparison—it’s about faithfulness with what we already have.
“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey”
(Matt. 25:14–15)
2. The Lord expects us to use what we’ve been given.
If God has revealed your gifts—administration, mercy, teaching, leadership—He expects you to use them now. We often wait for something “bigger,” when God is asking us to be faithful right where we are.
“The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more”
(Matt. 25:16–17)
3. The Lord warns against hoarding leadership and resources.
Leadership isn’t meant to be done alone. When we hoard responsibility instead of training others, we limit growth and ultimately harm the ministry. God owns it all—it’s not about protecting resources, but using them to advance His Kingdom.
“But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money”
(Matt. 25:18)
4. Faithfulness leads to greater responsibility.
God honors faithful leadership. When we steward well, He entrusts us with more—not necessarily more work, but greater influence and deeper impact.
“After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them…”
(Matt. 25:19–23)
5. Good intentions are not enough.
Fear, excuses, and comfort can keep us from obedience. God is not interested in why we didn’t act—He calls us to trust Him fully and use what He has given us.
“Then the man who had received one bag of gold came…”
(Matt. 25:24–25)
6. Ignorance is no excuse.
Leaders are responsible to seek wisdom, training, and growth. God can do more than we imagine—if we are willing to step out in faith.
“His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!’…”
(Matt. 25:26–27)
7. Poor stewardship has consequences.
God takes discipleship seriously. If we refuse to steward what He has entrusted to us, He may give it to someone else who will.
“‘Take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags…’”
(Matt. 25:28–30)
Even now, my mom still loves a clean, tidy house—and that house has hosted countless Bible studies, meals, gatherings, and people in need. Her gifts of hospitality and mercy grew into leadership and discipleship. From money to time, from listening to teaching, she has lived stewardship.
Because to be a good leader, you must first be a good steward.
Hey—I smell Pine-Sol. Is my mom here?
Application
- What areas of stewardship go beyond money and possessions?
- How have you cared for what God has entrusted to you?
- Where do you need to grow or make changes?
- How can you model good stewardship for others?
www.TheSinglesNetwork.org| www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org | www.LaborDaySingles.org
www.RestorationExperience.org | www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org | www.AllChristianCruises.com
Top 5 Qualities of an Effective Single Ministry Leader
by Kris Swiatocho, Director of The Singles Network Ministries and Kris Swiatocho Ministrie
Leading a singles ministry is more than organizing events or hosting Bible studies—it’s stepping into the lives of men and women who carry unique joys, challenges, and stories. A great singles ministry leader doesn’t just show up; they shepherd, encourage, guide, and reflect Christ in every interaction. Here are the Top 5 Qualities that set strong single ministry leaders apart:
1. Compassion That Listens
Singles come from a wide range of backgrounds—never married, divorced, widowed, single parents, and those healing from deep wounds. A great leader listens without judgment, loves without conditions, and creates a safe space where people feel seen and valued. Compassion is the bridge that makes ministry personal.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2
2. Spiritual Maturity and Teachability
A singles leader doesn’t need to be perfect—but they do need to be grounded. They model a vibrant walk with Christ, consistent prayer, and biblical wisdom. At the same time, they remain teachable, humble—willing to learn, grow, and adapt. A teachable leader creates a teachable ministry.
“Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” — 2 Peter 3:18
“The wise listen and add to their learning.” — Proverbs 1:5
3. Strong Communication and Organization
From casting vision to sending reminders, communication matters. Good leaders build clarity, consistency, and connection. They plan well, delegate wisely, and ensure that people feel informed and included. When communication flows, ministry thrives.
“Do everything decently and in order.” — 1 Corinthians 14:40
4. Hospitality That Invites
A great singles leader doesn’t wait for people to belong—they create belonging. Whether greeting someone at the door, welcoming new faces, or hosting gatherings, hospitality is at the heart of singles ministry. Leaders set the tone: warm, approachable, and genuinely excited to invite others in.
“Practice hospitality.” — Romans 12:13
“Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you.” — Romans 15:7
5. Resilience and Joy
Singles ministry can be messy, emotional, and unpredictable. Great leaders stay steady through challenges, disappointments, and spiritual attacks. They hold onto joy, trust God in every season, and lead with confidence that Jesus is transforming lives—even on tough days. Their resilience strengthens the whole group.
“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” — Nehemiah 8:10
“Let us not grow weary in doing good…” — Galatians 6:9
A Final Word
The best singles ministry leaders aren’t defined by their relationship status—they are defined by their character, their calling, and their commitment to love people well. When a leader models compassion, spiritual depth, clear communication, hospitality, and resilience, God uses them to build communities where singles find purpose, healing, and hope.
© 2025 Kris Swiatocho
www.TheSinglesNetwork.org| www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org | www.LaborDaySingles.org
www.RestorationExperience.org | www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org | www.AllChristianCruises.com
1. Compassion That Listens
Singles come from a wide range of backgrounds—never married, divorced, widowed, single parents, and those healing from deep wounds. A great leader listens without judgment, loves without conditions, and creates a safe space where people feel seen and valued. Compassion is the bridge that makes ministry personal.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2
2. Spiritual Maturity and Teachability
A singles leader doesn’t need to be perfect—but they do need to be grounded. They model a vibrant walk with Christ, consistent prayer, and biblical wisdom. At the same time, they remain teachable, humble—willing to learn, grow, and adapt. A teachable leader creates a teachable ministry.
“Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” — 2 Peter 3:18
“The wise listen and add to their learning.” — Proverbs 1:5
3. Strong Communication and Organization
From casting vision to sending reminders, communication matters. Good leaders build clarity, consistency, and connection. They plan well, delegate wisely, and ensure that people feel informed and included. When communication flows, ministry thrives.
“Do everything decently and in order.” — 1 Corinthians 14:40
4. Hospitality That Invites
A great singles leader doesn’t wait for people to belong—they create belonging. Whether greeting someone at the door, welcoming new faces, or hosting gatherings, hospitality is at the heart of singles ministry. Leaders set the tone: warm, approachable, and genuinely excited to invite others in.
“Practice hospitality.” — Romans 12:13
“Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you.” — Romans 15:7
5. Resilience and Joy
Singles ministry can be messy, emotional, and unpredictable. Great leaders stay steady through challenges, disappointments, and spiritual attacks. They hold onto joy, trust God in every season, and lead with confidence that Jesus is transforming lives—even on tough days. Their resilience strengthens the whole group.
“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” — Nehemiah 8:10
“Let us not grow weary in doing good…” — Galatians 6:9
A Final Word
The best singles ministry leaders aren’t defined by their relationship status—they are defined by their character, their calling, and their commitment to love people well. When a leader models compassion, spiritual depth, clear communication, hospitality, and resilience, God uses them to build communities where singles find purpose, healing, and hope.
© 2025 Kris Swiatocho
www.TheSinglesNetwork.org| www.KrisSwiatochoMinistries.org | www.LaborDaySingles.org
www.RestorationExperience.org | www.IntentionalRelationshipSolutions.org | www.AllChristianCruises.com
Leadership Articles and ResourcesAdditional resources by Kris and other authors, click here.
Leaders That Last Curriculum• Leaders that Last is 6 weeks, 6 topics Curriculum:
The first 3 weeks that are inward focus towards personal development and last 3 weeks that are outward focus towards building and unifying the team. • Leaders that Last Curriculum includes: A trainers guide with additional questions, icebreaker ideas, small group discussion, and weekly assignments, etc. plus participants outline. • Leaders that Last Curriculum is a: Microsoft word document so you can alter to fit your specific group whether young adult, single adult or single parent, divorced or widowed. WEEKLY TOPICS: Week 1: Who You Are in Christ Week 2: Affirming Your Calling as a Leader Week 3: Spiritual Warfare Week 4: Mentoring/Finding others with a Similar Calling Week 5: Building the Team Week 6: Caring for the Team. Week 1: Who Am I? Description: Everything starts and ends with a great team but a team starts with a great leader. A great leader should know who they are in Christ first in order to lead others. This leader also should have a personal, growing relationship with Christ. This lesson will focus on your identity, your personal growth in your faith, and your walk with the Lord. Week 2: Who Ya Going to Call? Description: Learning and affirming your calling to be a leader. Most maturing Christians are serving the Lord but often in the wrong area, this lesson will help you focus on the right area God is calling you into. Week 3: The Devil Made Me Do It! Description: This lesson focuses on how to recognize the enemy’s attacks on you, your team, and your ministry, and what to do when it does happen. Week 4: Making Copies! Description: This lesson focuses on the importance of recognizing potential leaders by starting with those who are voluntold versus volunteers. Week 5: There’s No “I” in Team Description: Everything falls and rises on leadership. Without a great team that is unified in the path to reach the goals God has put in place, leadership will fail. This lesson will focus on how to build a team that builds the ministry. Week 6: Are You a Care Bear? Description: This lesson focuses on how to keep our team, our leaders, and, ultimately, our ministry going and growing. |
Christian Leadership Styles
COG National Conference, Orlando, Fl
Leadership Snippit
Kris holds a singles retreat every September up in the mountains and I’ve attended the last 8 years. The 3rd year, Sept 2017 I came for the leadership portion of the meeting and was inspired by the teaching, many years of experience working with singles, messages shared, stories from other church leaders and resources galore at the meeting and on the website. I left that weekend fired up and it sparked me to start a singles focused bible study at our church which has been running a year now and doing great... I have so many stories I could share... many new visitors/members... connecting with singles in the church that weren’t plugged in.. networking with other Christian groups and churches... things just continue to spiral... we held a singles NYE celebration a few weeks ago. The owner of The Barn Dance (non-alcoholic club) that some of us go to often came. His club was only open on sat night BUT... he was inspired by the number we had at our dance and the amazing community... he had no idea that singles have that much of a need/want to be together. SO tonight he hosted his first Christian Singles Dance Party at The Barn Dance and it was a big hit. Planning to do a monthly dance there.—opening with prayer and ending with praise songs and prayer. I can’t wait to see what God has for us in 2024. Also very excited about this years Singles Retreat! Find info on thesinglesnetwork.org and come join us Thanks Kris for all you do... for your heart for God and singles. |
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