Articles: Building your Singles Ministry by Kris Swiatocho, Director

Sharing Your Faith by Sharing Your Story by Kris Swiatocho

As a speaker of God's word, teacher, and trainer, I come across individuals all over the world who truly believe sharing their faith is something for those with the gift of gab. They come up with tons of excuses on why they can't share about Jesus with others. This has mostly to do with fear of what to say, how to say it, and dealing with rejection. But what if, what if folks could write out one of the many stories of their life in which God did something? Maybe he cured them of cancer, provide the funds to buy a house, or protected them from a car crash, etc. And instead of trying to convince people of one of the Bible's stories and its authenticity, they instead shared their own story verbally OR in story form on paper resulting if little chance of rejection. Well, I decided to try it myself, and below is a sample of one of my letters. I challenge you to get your singles to do the same.
  1. You can set up a zoom or in-person event and have them first share something God has done for them. 
  2. Then have them write it out to fit (preferably) one side of an 8.5x11 page. Then, they can type it up, adding a photo or image.
  3. Then, on the back, add the steps of salvation that you could provide for them.
  4. Add their contact information or a way to connect back to them and/or ministry/church. 
  5. Send them out in groups of 2 to areas of the city to see how many of them can give out or leave or have them do this over a week and come back together to share the results. ​
Note: While you can also buy ministry tracts to stamp your church name on the back for folks to give out, your own personal story will mean more and have a greater return plus, it's helping people practice sharing their faith. ​

He Changed Me by Kris Swiatocho

SAMPLE TRACT
Hi, my name is Kris, and I have a story to tell you. I grew up with a birth father who was absent for most of my life. When he was around, he was very abusive. I didn't know why my father was the way he was until I met his mother, my polish grandmother, at the age of 6. Throughout my childhood into my young adulthood, she was also very abusive to me. You have heard the saying, "hurt people hurt people"? She definitely hurt my siblings and me. She would tell me I was worthless, ugly, and that no one would ever want to me. She loved to say that my mother was a prostitute, a piece of garbage that had entrapped my father into marriage. My grandmother was ruthless in her pursuit to destroy me. But why? What had my family or I done to deserve this? I often asked my grandfather, a very kind person, who, unlike my grandmother, why doesn't he leave her. But he would say, "where would I go"? He asks me, for his sake, to put up with her. When I was 26, my grandfather passed away. This was now my opportunity to exit her life. I could escape the continuous abuse. She couldn't hurt me anymore. Over the next eight years, I had nothing to do with her.
 
In the meantime, I had my own struggles. I had spent many years making bad choices. I was drinking too much, doing drugs, living with a man, and in horrible debt.  I was a mess. I knew I needed some help. After years of my family pray for me, I got down on my knees and asked Jesus into my heart to heal and help me. From that point, my life began to change. I started going to church, attended a Bible study, and got involved with a young singles ministry, where I made some better friends. Over the next few years, the Lord started working on my heart. He told me it was time to reconcile with my grandmother and that I needed to forgive her as Christ had forgiven me. But what if she had not changed? What if she continued to abuse me? I was so scared. What would the Lord want me to do?
 
My first step was sending a card on her birthday. I remember just signing my name. Then I sent another card at Easter and signed it sincerely, Krysia (my name in polish). Then I sent her a Mother's Day card in which God gave me the courage to say, love, Krysia. Wow, how could I sign it with that word? How could I possibly love such a person? A person who has abused me my entire life. But that is how God works and how he can help you. 
 
Two months past and I got a phone call from a lawyer that my grandmother had gone crazy and was in a mental hospital. He told me that I  needed to come to Connecticut to sort out things and make provisions for her. I wasn't sure I could do this. I took one of my brothers along for support. I remember walking into the facility and seeing her sitting on the side of her bed. The first thing she said was, "I forgive you." Forgive me? Forgive me for what? What have I done? The following weeks would be very stressful. Between traveling back and forth to Connecticut weekly, trying to figure out what was best for her, sorting through her possessions, and dealing with her personally, which by the way, had not changed, I was at my wit's end. A judge then told me that I would be given custody of her. She would never be in the right mind to take of herself again. I now started the stressful task of selling her home and its contents. Of all the people in the world that she would want to have custody of her, it wouldn't have been me. She hated me. And I had no idea why.  Why God would you put me back in her life. And why would He give me custody of her? God would have a great sense of humor in the middle of His plan.
 
A few more weeks went by, and eventually, she would be transferred to a nursing home. I continued to travel back and forth to Connecticut, sorting through her things and getting her house ready to sell. I remember praying to God to release me from her so that I could move on with my life. I would call my mom and cry, telling her how my grandmother is still so mean to me. Why would God ask me to do this? What had I done to God that was so bad that I deserved this punishment? I thought I could just sign over my responsibilities of the house to the lawyer. Although I knew I had a legal requirement to take care of her, I didn't feel I had a family requirement. But as the weeks turned into months, something started to change inside of me. What was going on?
 
By now, to some degree, my grandmother's verbal abuse had lessened, primarily because her illness affected her memory.  Then on one particular visit, as I was listening to her ramble on about her opinion of me, what she was saying meant nothing.  No matter what she said to me, God would only let me hear what He was saying. When she would say, you are "ugly." God would say, "You are beautiful." When she would say, "no man will ever want you," I would hear God say, "I want you, and I died for you." When she would say, "you are so fat," I would hear God say, "Kris, you could lose a few pounds to get healthier." Haha! Oh my goodness, her words had no power anymore because my identity wasn't in what she thought of me but what God had thought of me. It was from that moment, my whole attitude changed.

It was now around the end of the third year, and I had traveled to see her again. However, instead of calling my mom this time to complain about wanting to leave her here, I asked my mom for help. I told her that  I couldn't leave my grandmother in this place any longer. This place was a place of death, not life. I needed to figure out a way to bring her to my home in North Carolina. And in that conversation, I realized I loved her." What…I love her?"  Then I remembered Jesus, as he stretched out his arms in what He did on the cross for me, dying for my sins, taking my place---it was for love. I had finally learned to love my grandmother due to Christ's love for me. And His love had changed me. I could finally love her in His power. Only through my relationship with Christ could this had happened. 
 
Well, shortly after my last visit with her, she would pass away. I cried tears of joy at her funeral, knowing that although she never changed, I had. And that is what accepting and following Jesus can do for your life. It changes you for the better. You can forgive those who have hurt you. You can even learn to forgive yourself. Why not accept the Lord today as your Savior. 
 
The Bible, God's word, teaches us that:

  1. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) 
  2. And that the result of this sin, there is death "For the wages of sin is death…" (Romans 6:23a). This is a death eternally separated from God.
  3. But there is hope as we can have eternal life with God through Jesus Christ. "…but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."  (Romans 6:23b) 
  4. Jesus loved us by dying on the cross for our sins. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) 
  5. Once we understand our need for a savior and recognize that Jesus Christ is that savior, we can respond by calling out to Jesus. "If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved." (Romans 10:9-10)  and "For, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'" (Romans 10:13)
  6. Once you saved, you can now enjoy the peace of knowing you are no longer separated from God by your sin.  "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand."
    (Romans 5:1-2)     
You can start with a simple prayer: Dear God, I know I have sinned against you. I understand that the penalty for this sin is death and eternal separation from you. Thank you for sending your only son, Jesus, to die for me on the cross for my sins. I believe that he died for me and rose again to be forgiven and live forever with Him. Here and now, I surrender my life, my plans, my ways, my goals to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. In Jesus name, Amen 
 
If you have gone through these steps and have asked Jesus into your heart, congratulations. Let me encourage you to join a Bible-believing church and start your journey of personal growth. Please let others know you have accepted the Lord into your heart so that they can help you continue to grow. 
 
Do you have other questions or would like to watch a video with further explanation, go to my website at www.KrisSwiatochoMinisties.org and click on "How to Ask Jesus Into Your Life." 

Thank you for reading, and know, Jesus does love you and has not given up on you. 
 
Kris Swiatocho
919.434.3611
Swiatocho@gmail.com

Sept 2-3rd, 2021, Flat Rock, NC

Leadership Snippit

For a long list of leadership resources by Kris Swiatocho and other authors, click here. 

Pray for a Mate™

Pray for a Mate
About Pray for a Mate™...In my 25 years of ministering to single adults, I have found one major thing common to 99.9% of them—the desire to be married or married again. From conferences to retreats, articles and interviews, the subject continuously comes up.

I hear questions like:
“Do you think I am meant to be married?”
“Is there such a thing as ‘the one’?”
“Why hasn’t God brought me the man/woman of my dreams?”
As with all of these questions, I can only send them to the one source who knows the answers and that is Jesus Christ. But saying this doesn’t always communicate to an action or a direction.

​Okay, so you go to the Lord but then what? Well, they would say they have gone to the Lord but what I found was they would gripe, cry and fuss at Him. Few were serious in their purpose when it came to praying. Few were serious when it came to listening and as a result, changing. 
 
THE CHURCH AND SINGLENESS
For the last two decades, I and many of my fellow ministers to singles have seen the decline of the church’s efforts to minister to single adults. While the singles population is now over 52 percent in the United States, with most being never-marrieds, churches are not making the effort to the reach us. The focus more than ever seems to be on the family. 
 
But what churches don’t understand is the family starts with two single adults. If the church would spend time reaching singles, helping them in their identity in Christ, in their personal growth and developing healthy friendships, as well as by offering Bible studies and counseling for marriage, then the greater success of our future marriages and families will be. 

We can’t keep hiding behind youth programs and a pro-family focus and hope healthy marriages will just happen. The church needs to help single adults meet each other in a healthy way, directing them toward godly friendships and teaching them the principles of courtship and marriage preparation. Otherwise, they will find other ways to find a spouse, often outside the church and, possibly, with someone who isn’t a believer.

Although not all single adults will get married, many due to their own fears and issues, I do believe in marriage and I believe God still brings people together. With that in mind, I have been praying for a solution to bring singles ministry back into the church.

Singles ministry in general takes a lot of work. You have to build a team of leaders, offer training, meet regularly, plan, pray, and do. Because of the work involved and due to so many pastors being fearful that members might “hook-up,” churches have stopped having a singles ministry.

Also, we are still seeing more women than men in church. As a result, most singles ministries are started by women. Unfortunately, groups led solely by women only grow other women. The team has to include men. Without this pairing of the sexes, your ministry will often fail. In addition, we are seeing a lot of singles ministries focused on social events rather than on teaching the Word of God.

Another problem comes when leaders who don’t find a team to share the responsibilities with gets burned out, resulting in a failed ministry.
​
So, what do we do? How do we bring a singles ministry back into the church and have it be successful? And how can we do it if we are limited in finding men to help? What about resources and support? 
 
SOLUTION: Pray for a Mate™
While spending time in the United Kingdom doing ministry, I came upon a wonderful lady who shared with me something amazing. She had gone to her pastor and asked about doing a singles ministry at her church. Again, due to past experiences of what singles ministries could become, he said no. She then prayed and went back and asked if she could have a “prayer group for those who wanted to be married.” (Remember, 99.9 percent of all singles want to be married—maybe not this minute but eventually). She didn’t say anything about singles or ministry, but she did use two key words that most churches care about: marriage and prayer. They agreed and even offered her the space to meet.

She quickly gathered her team of friends—some married and some single—and they started meeting to pray, not sure what God would do. That small group turned into a larger one and before long they were meeting each month. From the start they only allowed women to come as they had enough men. They also created a structure that appealed mainly to serious prayer warriors.

The results were amazing. They saw lives changed, individuals found healing, some developed amazing friendships and others even got married. It’s now been over year and they are up to eighty men and eighty women. And it hit me—with a few slight changes, this could work in the U.S.

I realize not all singles would want to come to church to pray for a mate. Some might even get upset if this was the only activity their church offered singles. But if a church only has this, it’s still better than nothing. This program has the potential to lead to something. It’s certainly worth trying and making the investment. And the result? Healthier people who become healthier followers of Christ. 

How to get started!​​
​1. Go to our contact page  and fill out the registration form.
3. Once we receive your registration, you will be given a password to access the other pages where you will learn how Pray for a Mate™ works including the structure and the prayer themes.

Picture
• Leaders that Last is 6 weeks, 6 topics Curriculum: 
The first 3 weeks that are inward focus towards personal development and last 3 weeks that are outward focus towards building and unifying the team.

• Leaders that Last Curriculum includes:
 A trainers guide with additional questions, icebreaker ideas, small group discussion, and weekly assignments, etc. plus participants outline.

• Leaders that Last Curriculum is a:
Microsoft word document so you can alter to fit your specific group whether young adult, single adult or single parent, divorced or widowed.

WEEKLY TOPICS:
Week 1: Who You Are in Christ
Week 2: Affirming Your Calling as a Leader
Week 3: Spiritual Warfare
Week 4: Mentoring/Finding others with a Similar Calling
Week 5: Building the Team
Week 6: Caring for the Team.

Week 1: Who Am I?
Description: Everything starts and ends with a great team but a team starts with a great leader. A great leader should know who they are in Christ first in order to lead others. This leader also should have a personal, growing relationship with Christ. This lesson will focus on your identity, your personal growth in your faith, and your walk with the Lord.
 
Week 2: Who Ya Going to Call?
Description: Learning and affirming your calling to be a leader. Most maturing Christians are serving the Lord but often in the wrong area, this lesson will help you focus on the right area God is calling you into.
 
Week 3: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Description: This lesson focuses on how to recognize the enemy’s attacks on you, your team, and your ministry, and what to do when it does happen.

Week 4: Making Copies!
Description: This lesson focuses on the importance of recognizing potential leaders by starting with those who are voluntold versus volunteers.

Week 5: There’s No “I” in Team
Description: Everything falls and rises on leadership. Without a great team that is unified in the path to reach the goals God has put in place, leadership will fail. This lesson will focus on how to build a team that builds the ministry.
 
Week 6: Are You a Care Bear?
Description: This lesson focuses on how to keep our team, our leaders, and, ultimately, our ministry going and growing.
Kris Swiatocho and the Singles Network Ministry that you operate. Our singles group at my local church is flourishing and I give much credit to you.
​
Kris holds a singles retreat every September up in the mountains and I’ve attended the last 4 years. The 3rd year, Sept 2018 I came for the leadership portion of the meeting and was inspired by the teaching, many years of experience working with singles, messages shared, stories from other church leaders and resources galore at the meeting and on the website. I left that weekend fired up and it sparked me to start a singles focused bible study at our church which has been running a year now and doing great... I have so many stories I could share... many new visitors/members... connecting with singles in the church that weren’t plugged in.. networking with other Christian groups and churches... things just continue to spiral... we held a singles NYE celebration a few weeks ago. The owner of The Barn Dance (non-alcoholic club) that some of us go to often came. His club was only open on sat night BUT... he was inspired by the number we had at our dance and the amazing community... he had no idea that singles have that much of a need/want to be together. SO tonight he hosted his first Christian Singles Dance Party at The Barn Dance and it was a big hit. Planning to do a monthly dance there... opening with prayer and ending with praise songs and prayer. I can’t wait to see what God has for us in 2020. Also very excited about this years Singles Retreat! Find info on thesinglesnetwork.org and come join us Thanks Kris for all you do... for your heart for God and singles.
—Lisa Young, Lawndale Baptist Church, Greensboro, NC