Welcome Pastors, Leaders, and Individuals!

It’s an honor to attend the Church of God by Faith 2023 Family Conference. I am grateful to your leadership who, led by the Holy Spirit, requested resources to reach the young and single adult demographic, including bringing me to your conference.

In our country, single adults (those not married) outnumber married adults. But it is not often reflected in our churches. Single adults vary in age and background. They are college-aged, young adults, single parents, widowed, never-married, and/or divorced. Some may still be living at home, in college, a professional, or living with adult children. While some single adults require help, such as single parents, young adults, or widows, many are available to offer assistance. Single adults are an untapped resource for our churches. Many people in the Bible were unmarried, proving the value of this season of life, including Jesus. 

Single adults are just as valuable to the Kingdom as married adults. However, often singles do not feel this way. And while most would like to be married or remarried (a good thing), due to our broken world, a lack of preparation (preventative maintenance), little to no discipleship and resources, plus the reality of a more significant percentage of healthier females, very few are getting married, at least to other healthy adults. More than ever, we need to be involved in singles' lives, helping them grow closer to God, building healthy friendships, community, and serving the Lord. If one of those friendships turns into romance, praise the Lord. However, if the marriage doesn't happen, you still have an adult maturing in the Lord. An adult that can help build the Kingdom of God.

So what can you do as a Pastor, leader, or individual to minister to single adults?
 
1. Pray about your part. What is God telling you to do? Single adult ministry starts with you and one a single adult. It's a cup of coffee and listening to the needs of someone who is not married. And then begin the process of how to meet those needs. Also, meeting with other staff members to see what needs to be done collectively.  Please note not all churches are not called to start a singles ministry, but all churches are called to minister to single adults. 

2. Reaching out to other singles to gather them to see their overall needs, including how the church could do a better job. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
  • A simple acknowledgment of the value of singleness from the pulpit or small group. Do away with the myths of what a single adult is not. Singles do not have leprosy; they do not cause divorce; they work, pay our bills, raise kids and can serve the Lord the same as any married adult. 
  • Involving singles in all areas of the church from the leadership down. Unmarried singles or whose kids are grown have the most flexible use of their time and money but are often the least reached or used in the church.
  • Helping, coming alongside those alone in their home maintenance, raising kids, or having health issues. Noting that some singles adults' lives may never change, requiring ongoing help.
  • Setting up a discipleship ministry to pair singles with other more Spiritually mature singles and married adults to help them grow in the Lord. 
  • Offering resources, partnering with other ministries such as DivorceCare, Griefshare, Celebrate Recovery, local social services, and counselors. For more resources:
    >Leadership articles by Kris Swiatocho
    >Singles Ministry Tools
    >Speakers 
    >Single Focused Ministries
    >Single Support Ministries
  • Provide relationship resources such as Intentional Relationships for Singles 12-week Bible study. This study focuses on getting healthy with your first relationship, God, then others, including family, friends, work, and romance. It includes a online leadership resources and video intros. Another great resource is starting a monthly prayer group for those who want to be married. We need to be helping singles find romance by understanding who they are in Christ first. Then building healthy friendships that can lead to intentional dating and engagement. However, it's important to counsel singles before they get engaged. Once engaged, once the ring and dress have been purchased, it can often be too late to identify red flags that should keep them from getting married. Counseling them when they are single or a couple before engagement is best. Note: Often, churches think by offering or encouraging singles to date, we are inviting sexual sin. However, by not offering or teaching in this area, we are sending our singles into the world and online, leading to being unequally yoked, settling and living with the opposite sex, not to mention children born out of wedlock.
  • Researching to find other singles and young adult ministries in the area and meeting to talk about the needs of singles. You could you partner by sharing resources, and ideas, putting on events, a Bible study, etc.
  • Supporting starting a single or young adult ministry. Watch the short free videos on this page on how to start. You can also download these free resources:
    >How to Start a Singles Ministry
    >How to Develop Your Leadership Team
    >How to Develop Job Descriptions for Your Leadership Team
    >Icebreakers for your Ministry
    ​>Creative Things to do for your Ministry
    >21 Days of Prayer for your Singles Ministry

    Plus, you can click here for a vast list of leadership articles, leadership resources, book/study suggestions, video-resources, single-parent resources, the FAQS of Singles Ministry and so much more on the website. Also, encourage your singles to attend the National Labor Day Singles and Leaders Retreat in the NC Mountains as well as join our Facebook Leadership Forum.

  • Host a conference or retreat for singles adults. For a list by Kris Swiatocho, click here.
  • Develop positive public relations. Singles are of various ages, life stages, situations with different needs. 
    >Awareness of your ministry language focusing more on marriage than singleness. For example, if you host a family dinner at the church, include families of singles too. If you have a Valentine's banquet, include singles but don't charge them more or give couples a discount.
    >If you do a series on marriage in the church, include singles in your content. Ask single adults to share a testimony. If you have a sermon on Mother's or Father's Day, realize not everyone is a mother or father or will be; for some singles, that is a very tough holiday. 
    >Be aware of Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas holidays when a single may be alone due to the death of their spouse or the former spouse/partner getting the kids. Also, single parents might not have the funds to provide a proper Christmas.
    >Be aware of specific scripture, such as in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 about how a married man or woman's attention is divided between their spouse and God, while singles can focus only on God and how that is better. While it was meant to encourage singles, it is often quoted by married adults who have little experience of being single. While I agree, as single, you can focus totally on God, it does not take away the desire to marry.
    >Singles often go home alone or home to watch kids after church. They desire community and support. Take the time and effort to know who your single and young adults are, their needs, and their situations. 
    ​
3. Continue to monitor your direction in ministering to single adults. Stay in touch with the singles and singles leaders by meeting with them monthly. Offer resources, support, funds, etc. Evaluate and suggest changes as needed. Take time to pray with them about the Ministry and their personal needs.

4. Continue to reach out to me, Kris Swiatocho, Director of The Singles Network Ministries by:
​I am here to help you reach singles for Christ. Let's start our work together to see what God will do. Singles are a great resource to help build the body of Christ in our churches and ministries. It all starts with you!

1 John 4:16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Sign Up!

How to Start a Single Mom Ministry

Join our Leaders Facebook Group

Leaders That Last Curriculum

• Leaders that Last is 6 weeks, 6 topics Curriculum: 
The first 3 weeks that are inward focus towards personal development and last 3 weeks that are outward focus towards building and unifying the team.

• Leaders that Last Curriculum includes:
 A trainers guide with additional questions, icebreaker ideas, small group discussion, and weekly assignments, etc. plus participants outline.

• Leaders that Last Curriculum is a:
Microsoft word document so you can alter to fit your specific group whether young adult, single adult or single parent, divorced or widowed.

WEEKLY TOPICS:
Week 1: Who You Are in Christ
Week 2: Affirming Your Calling as a Leader
Week 3: Spiritual Warfare
Week 4: Mentoring/Finding others with a Similar Calling
Week 5: Building the Team
Week 6: Caring for the Team.

Week 1: Who Am I?
Description: Everything starts and ends with a great team but a team starts with a great leader. A great leader should know who they are in Christ first in order to lead others. This leader also should have a personal, growing relationship with Christ. This lesson will focus on your identity, your personal growth in your faith, and your walk with the Lord.
 
Week 2: Who Ya Going to Call?
Description: Learning and affirming your calling to be a leader. Most maturing Christians are serving the Lord but often in the wrong area, this lesson will help you focus on the right area God is calling you into.
 
Week 3: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Description: This lesson focuses on how to recognize the enemy’s attacks on you, your team, and your ministry, and what to do when it does happen.

Week 4: Making Copies!
Description: This lesson focuses on the importance of recognizing potential leaders by starting with those who are voluntold versus volunteers.

Week 5: There’s No “I” in Team
Description: Everything falls and rises on leadership. Without a great team that is unified in the path to reach the goals God has put in place, leadership will fail. This lesson will focus on how to build a team that builds the ministry.
 
Week 6: Are You a Care Bear?
Description: This lesson focuses on how to keep our team, our leaders, and, ultimately, our ministry going and growing.