Building your Singles Ministry/Personal Growth by Other Authors

On Singleness: The Inclusive Love of God By John Mark Comer

Couple dating
Excerpt from Loveology by John Mark Comer, Commentary and questions by Fred Bittner 
 
From its inception, Christianity was the most radical movement of all time. The incredible nature of the love of God reshaped all cultural norms of the day. This became evident when Jesus took a child in His arms and said,
 
Whoever welcomes one of these little children in My Name welcomes Me; and whoever welcomes Me does not welcome Me but the One who sent Me. - John9:37
 
In society, children were grouped with women and slaves. They had no rights and were considered little more than possessions. But, Jesus changed all of that with His inclusive love. With one statement, He gave children value.
 
God continued to show His inclusive love when He gave great value to women when Paul wrote,
 
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for Her. - Ephesians 5:25
 
God placed wives as valued partners in marriage.
 
But there is another segment of the church, which is often overlooked, or minimized. That group includes those who have never been married, and those who are no longer married. This group lives with the constant question, “When are you going to find someone?”
 
In the time of Jesus, a woman had to get married to survive, and if for some reason she lost her husband, she was expected to marry again. But God’s inclusive love extended to singles as well.
 
The apostle Paul, proclaimed that singleness was a gift from God. In fact he wished that we were all as he was.
 
John Mark Comer, in the book Loveology, asserts that being single is gift from God.
 
Singleness was a radical idea in Paul’s time. To stay single was to carry a stigma for your whole life and to risk dying in abject poverty. But not only was singleness okay in the early Church, it was encouraged! Historians argue the early Church was the first movement ever to hold out singleness as a viable way of life.
 
Do you have the calling and ability from God to live single in order to serve God in a greater capacity? Make sure you get that last part. For followers of Jesus, the point of singleness isn’t freedom from responsibility. It’s freedom for more responsibility. Paul thinks it’s great if you stay single. At the end of the chapter he says he thinks it’s “better” than marriage. But Paul isn’t saying you should abdicate responsibility, work part-time, go surfing every day, travel a bit, play in a band that never goes anywhere, and do nothing but chill for ten years of your life. Does that sound anything like the Gospel to you? To Paul, the point of singleness is to serve God in ways you can’t if you’re married.
 
If you are single, whether you want to be single or not, you have an opportunity to share God’s inclusive love with others. Don’t spend your time wondering when life will be different. Invest your time in service to Christ. God has given you this time to do great things for Him. The gift may only be yours for a season, so serve the Lord with gladness. If the Lord has a different plan for you down the road, He will bless you in ways you cannot imagine.
 
The family of God is filled with very different people, who are all joined together by the blood of Christ. That is what makes us family. We all have a place in the Kingdom, and we all have a ministry. If you are single right now, what is your ministry?
 
Study Questions
1.How does a person know if they have the gift of singleness? Is there some deciding factor? See 1 Corinthians 7:9, 1 Corinthians 7:36-38
2.Of the many ministries in your church, how many of those positions are held by unmarried people (nursery workers, Sunday School teachers, servers, etc.)?
3.How can we encourage single people to focus more on ministry? See 1 Corinthians 7:32-35.
4.The overwhelming majority of singles face the "When are you going to get married” question from well-meaning Christian friends. If singleness is indeed a gift, then are we encouraging our single brothers and sisters or discouraging them?
5.What is Paul’s encouragement to all Christians in 1 Corinthians 7:29-31? See also Matthew 10:34-36. 

Damien Nash
Mark Comer - Pastor, Author, Teacher
I live in Portland, OR, with my wife Tammy and our three kids – Jude, Moses and Sunday. Portland is this great city in the Pacific Northwest buzzing with culture - food, drink, coffee, indie bands, and lots of depressed people. I love it.
I'm the pastor for teaching and vision at Bridgetown Church, right in the center of the city (by Powell's Books if you've ever been to Portland). Our church is built around the very simple idea of practicing the way of Jesus, together, in Portland. We believe that the way of Jesus is exactly that, a way of life. 
I'm also the author of a few books; My Name is Hope, Loveology, Garden City, God has a Name, and my newest: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. 

Dating as a Single Parent by Holly Crain

asian woman
Let me save you some time. If you search for dating in the Bible you won't find it. So, where are we supposed to find principles to establish a relationship that will last?

Heading into a relationship as a single parent for the first time (or anytime) can be overwhelming, confusing and complicated. Is it even possible to trust again? Is there hope that the next relationship will be different? We all have that hope. But what if you prepared yourself spiritually for a relationship before asking or saying yes to anyone? Is it even possible in the culture we live in today to have a godly relationship?

There are many but here are a few biblical principles to get started with:
  1. Identity matters (1 Peter 2:9, Col 1:13) Knowing who you are (and whose your are) will help you to know where you want to go and who you would want to journey life with. Identity theft can happen in a relationship. We may have good intentions to positively affect the other person spiritually. But what most often happens is that they affect us! Knowing who and whose you are is critical. You are valuable.  
  2. Being equally yoked means being on the same page spiritually. (2 Cor 6:14) Spending life with a person that doesn't know Christ will always feel like you are dragging a dead weight around. We can't change a person's heart but the Holy Spirit can. It's best to wait to get confirmation of where that person is spiritually (without you) than try to make them a believer inside a relationship. Anyone can say they are a Christian but how is that person is living out their faith without you will give you your answer. Don't rush into a committed relationship without knowing truly where that person is spiritually in both what they say and what they do. Give yourself time to get to know the person outside of a relationship. 
  3. Avoiding fornication means not having sex before marriage. (1 Cor 6:13, 1 Cor 6:18 and 1 Cor 7:2) In the King James version it's called fornication...in the NIV and other versions it says, "sexual immorality". Sex is for marriage period. Outside of that is called fornication. Scripture is very clear about this. If someone you are in a relationship with is pushing you in this area, do what the Bible says...FLEE! It's clear that you shouldn't stop and try to work it out. It says "flee". Waiting for marriage will honor God and be a constant unfolding of blessings over your future marriage. You will find that a God honoring marriage gets better over time...and that's worth the wait.
  4. Being in the light means not keeping the relationship a secret. (1 John 1:7) It means not being engaged in a relationship that no one knows about. Instead, allow your family and friends time to get to know this person before you fall in love. Give people permission to speak into the relationship.
  5. Readiness (Psalms 37:4, Psalms 62:8) You and the children will most assuredly not be ready at the same time. It will go well for you and your children to wait and watch for the timing of the Lord and your children's readiness as well. How will you know? Stay in the Word and obediently listen to God daily. How will you know when your children are ready? Don't worry, they will tell you! Use this time to grow in your faith, heal emotionally and be restored physically.
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Holly Crain, Single Parent Family Ministry Associate
Single Parent Family Ministry, Houston’s First Baptist Church — The Loop
Holly.Crain@HoustonsFirst.org, O: 713.957.7674, C: 832-247-4787
HoustonsFirst.org ​
Kathy and I have had the pleasure of working with Kris of The Single Network Ministries at several events over the past three years. We always look forward to her insight and creative ways to connect with her audience sharing the Word of God with encouragement, humor and just being real. You will want to catch her for sure the next time she is in your area. Her sense of humor is a hoot and infectious.
—Kathy and Klay Watson,  Dating His Way Ministries

Leadership, General

Single Parenting

Personal Growth