Now don't get me wrong. I have come a very long way from where I started. Shoot, I have a very successful ministry that could have never happened if I didn't trust the Lord. I have had to take a lot of "get out of the boat and walk toward Christ" steps. So then why, why do I constantly fall backwards. Why are there still things I can't give him, not trust Him in?
I realize that "trust" is the basis of all of our relationship with Him. That without trust, nothing else would matter. I still struggle like most people with trusting Him with my finances (if I give all of this then there is none left for me mentality,uh, Kris, God owes all the money, uh, OK God), my ministry and it's direction (should I speak only on these topics, to these audiences, charge this amount, build this website, go here or there), my family (will some of them ever get not only saved but start growing, I am tired of waiting God), where He has placed me (Uh? Lord, why am I in this town versus over there, now that is a cool place to live), with food (yea, too much to write on this), and with stuff (that continuous battle to let things go, give things away, de-clutter and NOT BUY MORE, lol).
So what is trust? Trust means to have or place confidence in; depend on, have assurance.
Think about the trust you had as a small child. You trusted your parents to take care of you. You didn't worry about food or shelter or clothes. You knew they are going to take care of you. But as soon as you became aware of who you were and others, you began to try and trust in yourself.
When I was a teenager my step-dad who I consider to be my dad and I had a huge fight. The fight was over my need to borrow the car to get to my job so I could make money to buy the things "I" needed. My dad quickly reminded me (in a 7 page letter) the difference between need and want. He told me that as my parents they provided what I needed. That having a job was a privilege and that the money I made was for things I wanted versus needed. To get his point really across, he took away my job for 4 months. 4 months. I thought I would die. Understand that I had had a job since I was 8. I struggled early on with only trusting in myself. Which is easy to now look at my struggle with trusting God for all things. Now realize, my parents did provide all that I needed but I worked for the things I wanted. I wanted control too and doing things my way secured that. But now we are going into other things so let me get back to the original thought. LOL.
Do I want to get closer to God? Yes! Then it has to start with trusting him more. I know that as my trust increase, my relationship gets stronger and more secure. That I will not question his direction for my life. I will not question how He wants me to use His money. I will not want things my way but His way..knowing His way is better. Then, when he is reaching out to tell me to come here, come this way, my eyes will be fixed on his, taking those steps, knowing the right direction but also knowing falling on my bum is a part of learning to walk, to trust. I just need to get up and keep going.
What about you? What are you not trusting the Lord in? Family issues? Friends? Romance? Finances? Health? Let me encourage you to also take some time today to pray and ask the Lord to help you trust Him more. I am.
Psalm 40:4 Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.